Parenting and what we pass on: an archived Project Mindset post, originally published in 2021. Dates and roles reflect the original publication.
Parenting: what do I want to pass on to my children?
This is central to parenting for me. I have learned that it is not as simple as you expect 😉
I spoke with successful start-up founder Bill Schlichter about finding time for his three children alongside his company, and what he wants to pass on. The full interview is episode 22. Here is an excerpt, lightly smoothed for readability:
Seeing children as individuals
Reza: Children and family occupy a huge place in my life. For a long time, I saw my children as my legacy: I must teach them everything, guide them and prevent them repeating my mistakes. Then I realised they have their own personalities and identities. I cannot shape them exactly as I wish.
Bill: Mistakes are part of it too.
Reza: Absolutely. I realised I cannot simply treat them as my legacy. I need to let them grow. But I can still teach them that some things are harmful and I would rather they did not do them.
Bill: You need to.
Enjoying the moment and developing confidence
Reza: Exactly. For example, I do not want to teach my children to be constantly busy. I feel busy from morning to evening, and that sometimes stresses me. I work on it mentally, but I want my child to enjoy the moment and life, rather than merely stay busy. What matters most to you? What do you want, or not want, to pass on?
Bill: If I had to choose one thing, it is what I tell them daily: they can do what they want. They have unlimited potential and opportunities. It is up to them. Try different things and discover who you are and want to be. I want them to have that motivation, energy and belief in themselves.
I think the strongest foundation is believing in yourself, knowing you can rely on yourself in difficult times and find a way out. If my children grow up with confidence like mine and believe in themselves at any time, I will be happy, even if that is the only thing.
The other thing is love. They should fail and try things. I have three girls, so boys will eventually appear too. I will have to deal with that — perhaps my biggest challenge and a motivation to train! When the first boy sees me, he will know to behave. No, seriously, that will be part of their lives too.
More in the Project Mindset archive (German) and the Reza Mehman Podcast.
