39. How to avoid “autopilot” in everyday life.

Hi everyone and welcome to Project Mindset. This channel is for all of you who know that with the right mindset, anything is possible in life. Today’s topic is autopilot. Perhaps you’re familiar with those phases in life where you’re just going through the motions. This means you’re not really paying attention to what’s going on around you. You’re totally focused on the problems, challenges, and obstacles you’re facing. And then, somehow, a lot of time passes, and you don’t really realize what’s actually happened lately.

Or what actually happened in the last twelve months? And why did time suddenly fly by? In several podcast episodes, I’ve already talked about how it’s really not an option in life to simply let time slip away, to not focus on what’s important in life, to prioritize properly. For example, family, friends, and truly experiencing the moments with them. I think podcast episode number two gave a pretty good insight into how I think about this.

Making family time truly count

Make it count. That means consciously experiencing the moments you have with your family and allowing them to count, recognizing them as special moments in life. Nevertheless, I think that our lives, as we live them today, are actually designed for us to spend a lot of time on autopilot. Not literally driving, but actually going through life. What I mean by that is, we all know what that’s like: the commute to work, for example, or certain activities like shopping or going to the gym in the evening.

Most of what we do happens on autopilot. You get in the car, drive to work, and suddenly the 20-minute commute has vanished. Or you get in the elevator, go up, and suddenly those three minutes, or however long it takes, have passed. You just try to bridge the gap and not actively experience it. Perhaps this makes sense for the brain, so that the sensory input isn’t too overwhelming. But I think the problem is that we get used to simply experiencing many things in life on autopilot.

The film Click as a thought experiment

What I mean by that—and there’s a really cool movie I saw a while ago with Adam Sandler—is a comedy called Click. I think it’s fantastic. The humor might not be for everyone, but it’s definitely a comedy with a message behind it. I’ll give you a very rough outline of what it’s about, because it’s super relevant to today’s episode. In this movie, Adam Sandler is married and a father of two. He desperately wants a promotion at work, works incredibly hard, but somehow doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere.

Then he tries to work even harder to get the promotion. As a result, he neglects his family, which is obviously bad. For example, he’s not at family gatherings very often. Or when he is, his mind is elsewhere. He just wants to focus on his work. One day—and here’s a note, as I said, it’s a comedy film—he finds a magic remote control. And with this magic remote, he can simply fast-forward certain moments in his life.

When fast-forwarding becomes a habit

This means that whenever an activity is required, such as taking his children out, to sports practice, or attending family gatherings, he simply fast-forwards. For those two or three hours, he’s essentially on autopilot, present and engaged, and then he essentially wakes up again when he has the opportunity to work. The insidious thing about this remote control is that it learns Adam Sandler’s behavior patterns. In other words, the remote learns, “Aha, he always fast-forwards whenever something family-related is happening,” and consequently, he eventually fast-forwards automatically.

And then one day he gets up, suddenly, I don’t know, incredibly old, the kids have somehow left home, he didn’t really experience how they grew up, he separated from his wife, she has a new man, and so on and so forth, everything’s terrible. But he got a promotion at work, which he’s not even happy about anymore, because he feels like he’s just missed out on his whole life. What I find interesting about this film is that there’s a lot of message behind it, I personally think, because it’s actually about how we all sometimes focus on certain things that we think are important, be it work or a certain activity we do. We lose sight of what’s actually important in life.

What matters at the end of life

Because at the end of the day, it’s actually completely irrelevant, at the end of my life, whether I made the PowerPoint presentation look good or not. Or whether I submitted the proposal for my work or not. Whether I did that activity here or there or not. What’s important is that at the end of the day, or at the end of my life, I can say, “I actually accomplished what was important.” And that usually means, yes, having lived, having given love, having spent time with people I care about.

Consciously experience important moments

I believe that’s what’s important in life. And that’s precisely what this film highlights. That’s exactly what I want to emphasize in today’s podcast episode: that you absolutely have to prioritize correctly for yourself, what’s truly important in life. And I definitely don’t want to go through life on autopilot in these areas. That means I want to be mindful in the moments that matter. I want to actively experience the moment. And in doing so, I want to be truly mindful of my surroundings.

Furthermore, I really want to experience and understand what’s currently happening around me. I notice this in myself from time to time. I’m 38 years old now, and I have to say, the last few years have really flown by. So I try to pause and reflect, using the tools I’ll talk about shortly, to become more aware of these moments. But I also realize that if I don’t pay attention, the next few years will pass just as quickly.

And suddenly I’m incredibly old, and maybe I haven’t even done what really matters. Namely, have I given enough love to my loved ones, have I lived enough, have I had enough, let’s say, moments that evoke a certain memory or have left a lasting impression? I’d like to briefly introduce the tools I use to experience these moments mindfully and consciously, because I think they could be quite helpful for some of you.

Preparing for special encounters

The first thing, and I’ve already done a podcast episode about this – that was episode number 2, the “Mindset Make It Count” episode. As I said, feel free to listen to episode number 2 again. In short, whenever I have, let’s say, important activities coming up for me – not just for me, but also, for example, for my wife – I prepare myself mentally. What I mean by that is, if I know there’s a family celebration on Sunday, and that’s very important to my wife…

I’m mentally preparing myself to be in a good mood at this family gathering, to have lots of conversations with everyone there, to actively listen, but also to share my own stories, to engage in the conversations. So that we all have a wonderful day and that we can all look back on it with a smile, saying, “Hey, that was a really cool family gathering, we had a great time together.” Another tool I like to incorporate is the theme of learning something new.

Staying attentive through new skills

Learning something new usually happens in exceptional situations. Our everyday lives are the norm, like going to work or playing sports, but learning something new can sometimes involve something like podcasting. For me, podcasting is a good example. I had to learn how to use editing software, how to adjust microphones, and how to release podcasts. There are so many things you can learn, and interestingly, I remember having to learn them all. I get a little better at it each time.

Actually, I also try to learn new things regularly. It doesn’t have to be anything big. You don’t necessarily have to learn a language perfectly or regularly get a motorcycle license and take a course. It can be small things, like how to use video editing software or how to manage certain activities on social media. There are so many facets to a topic that you can explore and that stimulate your brain, encouraging you to learn something new.

Rediscovering academic writing

A good example is that I recently wrote a contribution for a book by an acquaintance of mine, Professor Dr. Stefan Lacher. I hold him in high regard. He had asked me if I could write a short piece on a certain topic. I completely underestimated how much work it would take to write such a piece. But I did it, and it was actually incredibly exhausting for me. The last time I had to write what I would call a professional piece—if you can even call it that—was my diploma thesis, 13 years ago. It was incredibly exhausting for me again to write grammatically correct, very good German.

For me, it was like learning something new again. I may have learned it at some point—this, let’s say, academic writing—but it was a kind of relearning of academic writing. That really appealed to me and encouraged me to, let’s say, strain my brain again and delve into it again. I remember quite well how strenuous that was for me. So, once again, something where I wasn’t going through life on autopilot, but actually focused on the moment: okay, I have to learn something again, I have to apply my knowledge, I have to try to make progress with this topic.

Leave your comfort zone every now and then

This, of course, also plays a huge role in the topic of leaving one’s comfort zone. There’s also a podcast episode about this. I think you might already know my opinion on it: it’s good to have a comfort zone, like your own home. Ideally, I don’t want to leave my comfort zone every single day; it’s good that I feel comfortable there, including with my exercise. But every now and then, you have to do something new, whether it’s a new physical exercise, a new sport, or simply trying something out for a while, knowing full well that it’s just an experiment. You don’t have to do it for the rest of your life.

Another tool that I also incredibly value is meditation. I’ve talked about it quite a bit before. There are so many different ways to do it, but for me, meditation means simply being, without wanting or possessing anything. You pay attention to your breathing, for example, you let go of every thought, you focus on the present moment. The advantage is not only that you can concentrate very consciously and mindfully on this moment, but also that you experience the moments that follow, the activities you do afterward, much more attentively and mindfully. So I can recommend it to everyone.

Recognize your own autopilot in time

Alright guys, that brings me to the end of today’s episode. I hope you were able to take something away from it. Here’s a very brief summary: I actually believe that our lives are designed to be on autopilot as much as possible, whether it’s driving, commuting to work, or taking elevators down. There might be some justification for the brain switching to autopilot. But you really have to be aware that autopilot can have a very wide reach and that you mustn’t allow other areas to be affected. That you’re essentially living half your life on autopilot.

Inspiration for a more conscious everyday life

I only briefly mentioned the tools. Make it count, prepare yourself for certain situations that you know are coming and consciously try to experience these situations, be it a family celebration or a meeting with friends, consciously saying, wow, I’m going to take time for this, I’m looking forward to it, I’m going to prepare for it, I’m going to engage in the conversations, I’m going to try to have as much exchange as possible, because these moments definitely stick with you.

The other thing, of course, is to regularly experience something new – here again, the keyword is comfort zone, to leave it every now and then, to do truly new things. It doesn’t have to be anything big; you don’t have to learn a new language every day. Learning something small here and there is enough of a stimulus for the brain to remember that you’ve done something new. And the last topic was meditation, which I can really recommend to everyone: pausing every now and then, consciously experiencing the moment, paying attention to your breathing, not having unnecessary thoughts, reflecting on what’s actually important in life.

Living consciously and passing on love

And I absolutely stand by this: at the end of life, it’s not about how beautiful the PowerPoint presentation you had to make was, but at the end of life, it really comes down to whether I lived the life I wanted to live, whether I consciously experienced what I experienced in my life, and whether I also shared love—all the things that are actually important in life. Great, now we’re already at the end. I hope you enjoyed the episode. If so, as always, please leave a like, subscribe to the channel, and tell your friends about it, because that’s the only way the channel can continue to grow.

Until next time, and don’t forget, until then, mindset is everything.