Episode 128: Luke Mockridge, the Paralympics and Humility

Happiness rests on gratitude. And if you want to be grateful, or are grateful, I believe that requires a huge amount of humility too: knowing that all of this may, in some sense, be a lottery of life. Perhaps I was simply lucky — or probably I was simply lucky — to be born into these particular circumstances. I can be grateful for that, and I certainly will not kick people who have not had that luck or make jokes about them.

If you follow my podcast, you know how important gratitude is to me. There is a reason I discuss gratitude with almost every guest I have ever had. I think it is one of the most important foundations of our own happiness. I also think gratitude goes hand in hand with humility. What I mean is that we are living in a time and a society where it has somehow become normal to attack groups of people, tear them down and kick them again when they are already on the ground.

Becoming more aware of our opportunities

I feel that doing this is deeply wrong. We see many people who do not understand how lucky we are to be alive at this particular time, with these opportunities and experiences. Everything we have, our health and so on. I do not want to act as a moral authority here. I find the Luke Mockridge case worth reflecting on. In a moment, I will play a short video so you can see exactly what I mean.

I find the case worth considering because I feel a great deal of humility towards life is missing. Whether you call it fate or the lottery of life is something everyone can decide for themselves. I think that, at some point, through an extraordinary coincidence, we come into the world in a particular family and financial situation. Some are born into royal families; many are born into poverty.

We have no influence over that. Some are born with health problems; others are born completely healthy. We have very little, if any, influence over where and how we are born, the circumstances we enter and the starting conditions we have. That is why the Luke Mockridge case bothers me. I will play the video in a moment, but first, an important point: I am not here as a moral authority. I am fine with some people finding the comedy Mockridge was trying to deliver funny.

Reza’s personal boundary with humour

That is completely fine by me. Personally, I did not find it funny at all, simply because I felt that humility towards life was missing. I do not like that kind of arrogance towards groups of people who may not have had things as easy as you. I hear that arrogance very strongly in Luke Mockridge here, and I did not like it at all. The scene I am about to play comes from another podcast.

The podcast is called “Die Deutschen”. Incidentally, its two hosts are people I think are very cool and very funny. They sometimes go a little too far, but I still find them funny. I think this was a moment when they really did go much too far. Their video apology to the people they had hurt — people with disabilities who felt hurt by them — also reached me.

I believe they meant that sincerely. Saying that here matters to me. I do not want to wag a finger and declare that they did the right or wrong thing. I can only speak from my perspective. Gratitude and awareness of our own good fortune require, for me, a certain humility towards other people’s lives. After all, we are talking about people with disabilities, athletes who competed at the most recent Games.

The podcast excerpt under discussion

Luke Mockridge made a few remarks, or rather a few things were said in the podcast, that are at least worth discussing. I will play it briefly. [Podcast excerpt; several voices] “And you would crush it at the Paralympics too.” “Yes, at everything. I would compete in every sport and win. Because they are just people with hands like this.” “I talk about the Paralympics in my show too. The first person who had the idea — that is pretty wild, isn’t it? The first person who called another country and said: ‘You know the Olympic Games?’”

Excerpt continued

“‘I have a similar idea. You have disabled people in your country too, right? Shall we see whose are faster? Shall we put them in a race against each other?’ He had that idea! That is wild, man. And the people without legs and arms, you throw them in the pool.” “They would drown.” “And whoever drowns last wins.” [End of excerpt; Reza resumes] That was the scene from the podcast. I think parts of it were taken down again. However, the other parts that were deleted from the original podcast can still be accessed on social media.

As I said earlier, I do not want to judge whether it is funny or not. My podcast is always about mindset. What I particularly missed here was the humility we should show when life has treated us better or more fortunately than others. We are talking about athletes who competed at the Games, at the Paralympics, and achieved truly great things. I respect every athlete who trains for years towards something and then delivers their performance.

Respect for sporting achievement

I think so much goes into that: the right nutrition, going to bed early, the right training and so on. So much is involved in becoming a top athlete, competing at the Olympics or taking part in the Paralympics. To me, that takes an enormous amount. For that reason alone, I think my first instinct would be not to make fun of someone who delivers that kind of performance. That is the first point. The second, as I suggested earlier, is that we are all part of the lottery of life.

Some are born with disabilities, others without; some into wealthy circumstances, others into less wealthy circumstances or poverty. We have no influence over what happens — or at least very little influence over certain aspects of it. It is important to remember that some illnesses develop later, after birth. Recently I heard a father describe a case in which parts of his child’s limbs had to be amputated following an illness.

Compassion for different circumstances

I am incredibly sorry to hear that. I probably cannot imagine the suffering involved, for the child and, of course, the parents. For that reason alone, I cannot imagine making fun of it in any way when I know how much suffering lies behind it. I can also imagine that the three people in the video may not have thought about a case like that. But I think it matters, especially when we live in a time when kicking people has become normal: showing that kind of arrogance and completely forgetting how fortunate you have been.

That humility means saying: I am grateful I was lucky enough to be healthy, to have few health problems, to have the right environment and not to have developed serious illnesses over the years that caused lasting damage. That humility was what I particularly missed in these colleagues. But there is a reason I do not want to pass moral judgement: I think the people affected should express whether it is funny or acceptable.

Listening to those affected

In this case, you would need to ask people affected whether they liked it or not. I will tell you a story that happened to me in another context. On that occasion, people joked about something relating to me. I was completely fine with it. Later, I learned that in another setting, if you followed certain formal rules, it would not have been acceptable.

The trip was to the United States. As someone born Persian, as an Iranian, there is always a little… At passport control, of course, it can happen. I have a German passport, but my name is very Persian. Especially at American passport control, you can be singled out and taken into a side room for further questions. That actually happened to me. I was in the US and was pulled aside. They asked lots of questions. I think it lasted about 20 to 25 minutes.

It was not that bad. Still, it was uncomfortable to be picked out of a queue and taken to another room. It felt unpleasant, but it was not a serious problem. I had done nothing wrong and answered all the questions. On our way to the US, my colleagues had already said: “I am not getting in the queue with him. It will take ages before he gets through.” Funny — I laughed about it too. All fine. Now comes the amusing coincidence.

A later diversity course

A little while afterwards, the company offered some training: an online course about cultural awareness and diversity. The course described exactly this situation, saying that companies should avoid making jokes about it because certain cultures face more problems at passport control than others — not cultures, but nationalities. If you want to be culturally aware, you should not make those jokes. But for me, in that moment, someone had made a joke at my expense.

I was there; it was not behind my back. That was fine. So, to relate that to the Luke Mockridge case and his jokes, I do not presume to decide whether it was acceptable. I can only say that I definitely felt humility was missing. We would need to ask the people affected how they feel about it. I looked online a little. There were indeed many people with disabilities saying it was not acceptable at all, which I can completely understand.

Some people spoke about it. I did not find much beyond that. What matters to me is that the people affected should be asked whether they found the humour funny. They need to speak for themselves. I felt it was important to mention this in our podcast today. I believe happiness rests on gratitude. And if you want to be grateful, or are grateful, I believe that requires a huge amount of humility: knowing that all of this is a lottery of life.

Gratitude for our circumstances

Perhaps I was simply lucky — or probably I was simply lucky — to be born into these particular circumstances. I can be grateful for that, and I certainly will not kick people who have not had that luck or make jokes about them. That is everything for today’s episode. Thank you very much for listening. If you enjoyed the podcast, I would be very grateful if you left a like and subscribed to the channel. That is how Project Mindset can keep growing.

Thank you for listening, and see you again soon. Bye, bye.