Stay relaxed: an archived Project Mindset post, originally published in 2022. Dates and roles reflect the original publication.
66. Stay relaxed: why we should not take everything so seriously
Taking work and life too seriously can make us stiff, tense and less convincing. Reza Mehman reflects on presentations, customer meetings and private conversations, and on an unexpected lesson from UFC fighter Dennis Siver: approaching a challenge playfully, even when the stakes are high.
Summary
In one sentence: Taking everything too seriously can prevent us from enjoying ourselves and connecting with others; a more playful attitude can help.
Short summary: Reza remembers becoming stiff during presentations because he felt so much pressure. Dennis Siver describes approaching fights as a game, leaving no room for fear. Relaxation can make us more likeable and effective.
Detailed summary: A thoroughly prepared presentation in Finland failed to convince a customer. Reza now wonders whether his team’s stiffness contributed. Siver, by contrast, approaches a fight playfully despite the risk of physical injury. For him, excitement aids focus while fear gets in the way. That contrast puts everyday work challenges into perspective and encourages greater ease in relationships and performance.
Context and questions
Reza shares his own experience and a conversation with Dennis Siver. The episode asks why we take everyday situations so seriously, what we can learn from a fighter, and how a playful approach might help. Performance pressure can block the very qualities we want to communicate.
Contents
Introduction · Summary · Context · Themes · Takeaways · Questions · Quotes · Complete transcript · Keywords · Names and terms · Shareable passage
Themes
When seriousness becomes stiffness
Preparation and professional responsibility can turn into tension during presentations. Keywords: nervousness, performance pressure, presentations.
Dennis Siver’s playful approach
A UFC fighter’s way of facing a challenge offers a useful change of perspective. Keywords: UFC, playful challenges, composure.
Excitement and fear
In Siver’s account, excitement supports focus whereas fear blocks it. Keywords: fear, playfulness, concentration.
Taking ourselves less seriously
Relaxation can make communication more authentic and enjoyable. Keywords: authenticity, ease, fun.
Key takeaways
- Excessive seriousness can make everyday situations feel stiff.
- Preparation alone does not guarantee a convincing presentation.
- Dennis Siver approaches fighting playfully despite its risks.
- He distinguishes useful excitement from obstructive fear.
- Most presentations involve no physical danger.
- Tension can make a team unpleasant to work with.
- Relaxed people often make interactions more enjoyable.
- Some of these insights become clearer with age.
Frequently asked questions
Why do we take work so seriously?
Expectations, fear of failure and team pressure can create tension. As a young product manager, Reza wanted every part of a presentation to be perfect.
How does Dennis Siver approach a fight?
He describes it as a game to find out who is faster, stronger and better. Fear would prevent him from keeping a clear head.
What can we learn from that?
Perspective: an ordinary presentation is usually not a matter of life or death. A playful attitude can reduce unnecessary tension.
How does excitement differ from fear?
Siver says excitement helps him focus. If fear of injury dominated, he would question doing the sport at all.
Why can stiffness put others off?
It can transmit tension. Relaxation creates a more pleasant atmosphere and can help others feel comfortable working with us.
What happened in Finland?
Five colleagues flew from Frankfurt for a customer presentation, rehearsing late in their hotel. Reza remembers a stiff performance that did not convince the customer; his explanation is a retrospective guess.
Who is Dennis Siver?
He is a pioneering German MMA fighter known for competing in the UFC.
Highlight quotes
“We prefer relaxed people, because spending time with them is more fun.” — Reza Mehman
“Treat it as a game: find out who is faster.” — Dennis Siver
“Excitement matters for focus, but fear does not belong there.” — Dennis Siver
“We were so stiff. Perhaps the product was fine, but the customer did not want a stiff team.” — Reza Mehman
“If I were afraid of being injured, perhaps I should not do the sport.” — Dennis Siver
“An actual fight can cause physical harm, and yet he approaches it playfully.” — Reza Mehman
The complete episode transcript
Looking back, we should not take ourselves so seriously. We prefer people who are relaxed, because we have more fun with them.
Hi, and welcome. With the right mindset, anything is possible.
Today I want to share a realisation, perhaps one that comes with age. I used to take things far too seriously, particularly in my first jobs. We put enormous preparation into presentations and felt a great deal of pressure as a team.
I remember flying from Frankfurt to Finland with five people to present to a customer. The preparation had been exhausting. I was a young product manager and had prepared my part very thoroughly; the others had done the same with theirs.
We arrived at the hotel and carried on working late, polishing and rehearsing everything for the presentation the next day. But we were wooden and stiff. Each person rattled through their individual part. We did not come across as a team, and we did not convince the customer.
In hindsight, this is speculation, perhaps our product was perfectly fine. Perhaps the customer simply thought: none of these people seems to enjoy their work; I do not want to work with such a stiff group.
A playful approach to a serious challenge
Then I had German fighter Dennis Siver on the podcast, one of the pioneering, successful German UFC fighters. I asked him about preparing for a fight: two or three months of watching his diet, training twice a day and focusing his free time on it. With two or three fights a year, his livelihood depended on those fights.
How did he approach it? Was he afraid of being knocked out or physically hurt?
Dennis Siver: No, you must not think like that, because then your head is not free. I approach it as a game. Playfully, you find out who is faster, stronger or better. That works best. Excitement is important because it helps you focus, but there is no place for fear. If I were afraid of getting hurt or of the risk of injury, perhaps I should not do the sport.
Reza: I found that remarkable. This is a real fight in which someone can physically hurt you, yet he approaches it playfully.
Compare that with work: a performance review with your boss, a customer pitch, or even a conversation with a friend or partner. I used to take those situations so seriously that I became stiff. Yet they are not matters of life or death. Nobody is physically fighting you. It is just a presentation.
Looking back, we should take ourselves less seriously. We prefer relaxed people because being with them is more fun.
That is today’s message. I hope it helps you. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe, leave a like and a comment. I always welcome feedback. I hope to see you again soon, and remember: mindset is everything.
The source transcript was generated automatically with Whisper AI and may contain occasional errors.
Keywords
Relaxation, taking life less seriously, composure, playfulness, Dennis Siver, UFC, mindset, tension, presentations, nervousness, fear, performance pressure, Project Mindset, Reza Mehman.
Names and terms
Reza Mehman, Dennis Siver, Project Mindset, UFC, MMA, product manager, Frankfurt, Finland, presentation, performance review, competition, combat sports, mindset, composure and playfulness.
A passage to share
Taking everything too seriously can make us stiff and take away our enjoyment. Dennis Siver approaches even a fight playfully. Excitement can help us focus; fear can get in the way. Seen from that perspective, an ordinary presentation need not feel threatening. Relaxed people are often more enjoyable to be around.
More in the Project Mindset archive (German) and the Reza Mehman Podcast.
