Episode 125: Henning Fritz on Pressure, Burnout and the Fear of Failure

Reza: Something else I really admire about you is how openly you have always spoken about the lows as well as the highs. For example, I heard that you experienced burnout symptoms in 2005. How can you be so successful in 2004 and then, just a year later, have symptoms of burnout? I am not even sure whether I am expressing that correctly. Perhaps you could explain how it happened.

Henning: I was not a goalkeeper who was already among the very best at 18 or 19. I had talent, a strong interest in the game and the ambition to be the best.

Looking back on my career, I improved year after year through small steps. I had coaches who gave me opportunities to play at a high level and plenty of time on court. Ultimately, 2004 was the peak. I played for THW Kiel, a very successful club with very high expectations. Recovery was not necessarily the priority. I played a lot, had few breaks and was carried along by success.

The euphoria of riding a wave of success

Henning: When you are euphoric and riding that wave, you feel you do not need all that recovery. You simply want to keep going. As you mentioned, we became European champions in 2004, and I was named the tournament’s best goalkeeper. Six months later, at the Athens Olympics, we won silver in the final. I was also named best goalkeeper there. Then, about six months later, I became the first goalkeeper to receive the World Player award. It felt as though I had reached the absolute top.

Until then, I had always been striving towards something: becoming better and better. With that award, it felt as if I was now at the very top. In my mind, I had something to defend. Perhaps that was a small mental mistake: thinking I had to defend a supposed title instead of continuing to strive towards something. That may have been one factor. It is difficult to say exactly what caused it because the subject is so complex.

Then I genuinely became unable to produce that performance. I lacked the energy from within. What had distinguished my game was my ability to get fully absorbed in a match, focus on the ball, stay on my feet for a long time and make a save with a short, quick movement.

Reza: Your reflexes, essentially?

Henning: Exactly, my reflexes. Suddenly, all of that disappeared: mobility, focus and emotion.

When familiar strengths disappear

Henning: I had always been someone who could really get stuck into a match. I would have little verbal duels with the other team’s top players. That was part of my game, and suddenly I could no longer do it. The things that had made me strong were gone. The quality that remained was not enough to compete at the absolute highest level. That was the level against which I was measured, both by myself and by the public: “He has won these titles.”

And suddenly it was no longer there: “Does he not want it any more?” I do not know what the public actually thought. But that was what I was thinking: how does this look from the outside? You end up in a cycle of thoughts that is neither optimistic nor positive. It paralyses you. Before every training session, my thoughts revolved around the same instructions: remember to give everything today, be positive, and so on. Previously, those things had been automatic. I had not needed to think about them before every session.

Losing the performance level you knew

Henning: I had always given everything. Some days were good and others perhaps less positive, but you had your established level. I lost that. Producing an absolute top performance was no longer possible. Naturally, that hurt. Earlier, I described an upward spiral from being 18 or 19 to becoming a successful goalkeeper. Now that spiral slowly turned downwards. It was very depressing because I was carrying those achievements with me.

I was World Player of the Year; I had achieved those successes. The club also realised that I could no longer deliver at that level and brought in another goalkeeper at short notice. Suddenly, I was only number three. That made the feeling of not being able to perform even stronger. First, you get little playing time. Then there is the emotional side, which I think is very important. Being only number three feels like an insult: not merely being substituted, but no longer playing at all.

What playing meant to him

Henning: I was essentially only training. It was a very, very difficult time.

Reza: Did that hurt you?

Henning: Yes, it was an emotional wound. That is how I experienced it. Playing is the recognition you long for: showing what you can do, exciting the crowd, hearing the applause and, ideally, winning. That gives you satisfaction. Of course it is a job, and we earned good money at the time. But that is not what makes you go to training and matches every day.

Take a normal cycle of three-year contracts. You negotiate that contract once. Once it is settled, the focus becomes: how can I improve so that I can be successful?

Reza: Have I understood correctly that it was easier for you mentally to say, “I want to be the best I can be”? Once you had got there, defending that position became difficult?

Improving rather than defending a title

Henning: From my perspective, the mistake was having the thought that I needed to defend something at all. That is nonsense. Today, I would ask: how can I continue to improve individually so that I can perform at that level? I was entering my early thirties, the best age for a goalkeeper.

But my awareness and knowledge were not as developed then. I was driven and spent almost all my time in goal. Today, I would say: pay more attention to your basics, such as the underlying endurance you also lose during a season spent in goal.

Even in normal training sessions, we mostly stayed in goal, and certain fundamentals disappeared. You may be good at goalkeeping, but you still need basic endurance, strength and everything else. I did not understand that then. Perhaps I am a little wiser now. I would advise young goalkeepers and athletes to pay more attention to their foundations. It is the familiar image of a house: if the foundation is not sound, the whole structure collapses when pressure comes from above.

Suddenly becoming third choice

Henning: I think I would do quite a few things differently today.

Reza: I do not want to probe the wound too deeply, but you said it was uncomfortable suddenly becoming the third goalkeeper. Was it embarrassing? Were you worried that acquaintances, family or friends might see you differently?

Henning: No, not that. But I think some of it had to do with ego. You need a certain ego to reach that level in the first place. Perhaps that ego was hurt. Little Henning, sitting inside, was hurt: how can this be? I am Henning Fritz, the national team goalkeeper. I have achieved all these things, and now I am only number three.

Reza: World Player of the Year.

Henning: Exactly. From the perspective of the people in charge, you can discuss in hindsight how the situation was handled. But the fact that they had to make decisions was completely understandable.

Ego and emotional strain

Henning: At the time, I had no solution for getting out of that situation and performing again. I was more or less stuck in an emotional prison. Little Henning was offended, the little ego. Those are not mental states that restore your strength. You are trapped in that cycle of thoughts.

As I said, I had no idea how to get out of it in the short term. I had not forgotten how to play in goal. Perhaps, if we had analysed it, what I needed was to step away for a while. Not necessarily six months, but to slow down, recover, strengthen the basics and rebuild mentally. Put the previous successes behind me and look ahead.

How could I move forward again? Not immediately, “How do I become world champion?” Instead, start with small steps. Back then, the thought immediately jumped to becoming world champion. That does not work. You need to take the small steps and rebuild the basics to get there. My understanding is much greater today.

Reza: I can completely understand what you are saying. I did not experience it at your level, but I once had a company that initially did very well.

Moving forward step by step

Reza: Then a few decisions were not so good, and suddenly I was facing what you might call a pile of broken pieces. It was very difficult to get out of that whirlpool of thoughts, pull myself together and say: I need to move forward one step at a time. I find it very interesting that you say the aim was not immediately to become world champion again, but to rebuild slowly and systematically.

Learning to face a personal defeat

Henning: That may not have been how I thought at the time. It is how I would put it today. I think it is simply part of life. Until then, my sporting path had always moved upwards in small steps. I was not used to dealing with a personal defeat.

As a little boy, you were used to setbacks because you did not yet have those expectations at the top. You did not know what it was like to get there. But my progress had gone upwards step by step, and suddenly a huge blow arrived. I was completely overwhelmed. Nobody prepares you for it.

That is why I think the basics matter whether you are in sport or business. In business, that might mean continuing to develop or improve your product. If one year has been exceptionally good, do not expect the next to be the same. We depend on so many things, whether we are entrepreneurs or athletes. As an athlete, you get older. The body changes — I think roughly every seven years.

A different awareness of success

Henning: I did not have that awareness then. I thought it would simply keep going. These are things that are part of life. Today, I appreciate it differently. Back then, I took it for granted that my body would work. Now I say: we need to work on the basics again, either to preserve a certain level of performance or to slow down the decline that comes with age.

Reza: You have just mentioned something important: appreciating what you have. I followed your career and looked up when you played where. It made me wonder: in 2005, when you first experienced what you describe as burnout symptoms, were you still grateful for everything you had already achieved? Gratitude is a central theme for me in Project Mindset.

How did you relate to gratitude at that time? You had already achieved a lot. Perhaps there is gratitude for having had that experience and that perspective in the first place.

Henning: During my professional handball career, I may not have been mature enough, or far enough along emotionally, to feel that gratitude. It was more a case of wanting to go further: more, more and more.

Gratitude with the benefit of distance

Henning: Today, with some distance, I feel enormous gratitude for having been able to live my dream and turn my hobby into my profession. And not only that, but to have been so successful: to be in the public eye, have some recognition and receive honours. It is a wonderful thing and a dream.

That is why it matters to me to talk about things that might otherwise remain hidden from the public, such as the burnout symptoms I describe. They are part of life too. I speak openly because I think many people have similar experiences but wonder whether something is wrong with them.

Many people have similar experiences, and everyone responds differently. It is about raising awareness and helping people begin to ask: where could I start with myself? We are often quick to look outside ourselves and blame others for a personal situation. I did that too: it was the coach, or something else, or the defence was not good enough. In my view, whatever the subject, we should first look at ourselves.

Public pressure and new perspectives

Henning: My awareness is different now, with some distance from handball. But I also think the pressure of being in the public eye, with the media and everything else, can be so great that you quickly become defensive. Now that I no longer experience that pressure or those feelings, I can deal with it much more calmly.

There may be athletes who are much more reflective during their active careers and who benefit from that at the time. I certainly was not. I think I have become more conscious of many things only since retiring.

That is why I like to talk about them. Ideally, it helps people think about these issues beforehand and become more aware. People in ordinary working life might also recognise that athletes experience the same feelings: “I understand that. I can feel it in myself too.” There are ways forward. I believe it is important to talk.

Responsibility and finding moments of calm

Henning: That is why we are discussing it: to acknowledge these experiences. You repeatedly notice how people respond differently depending on their stage of life. A 20-year-old might say, “What is this old man talking about?” Someone in their early or mid-thirties may already have spent ten years working, may have a family, and so on. All these things make demands on us: responsibility, pressure and needing to earn money to pay a loan and other expenses.

That responsibility makes life less carefree than it was at 20. We need to face it and find solutions, including within ourselves. We cannot always keep running in that treadmill. Sometimes we need to find calm. That is the great challenge.