Negative thoughts: how to stop going in circles, and why positive thinking isn’t the first step.
Introduction
Getting rid of negative thoughts is the first and crucial step towards a strong mindset. In the first episode of Project Mindset Reza Mehman explains why, before using positive affirmations, it’s essential to first stop the negativity in your mind. He shares personal experiences from the failure of his startup, explains the phenomenon of the self-fulfilling prophecy, and shows how negative thoughts influence not only your own performance but also your entire environment. With concrete mindset tools and a clear three-point conclusion, this episode provides immediately applicable insights. The podcast is aimed at anyone who wants to become more emotionally resilient and actively shape their thinking.
Summary
1-sentence version: In the opening episode of Project Mindset, Reza Mehman shows why stopping negative thoughts is more effective than forcing positive affirmations.
3-sentence version: In the first episode of Project Mindset, Reza Mehman discusses the power of negative thoughts and why one should first stop thinking negatively before attempting to think positively. He explains the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy using his own experiences and refers to insights from an American football performance coach. He concludes by offering three concrete recommendations for permanently breaking negative thought patterns.
5-sentence version: Reza Mehman launches a new podcast series, Project Mindset, focusing on mindset, attitude, and personal development. In the first episode, he explains why positive affirmations alone aren’t enough and why the first step is stopping negative thoughts. He illustrates the principle of the self-fulfilling prophecy with a basketball example and shares the story of a football performance coach who demonstrates that negative thoughts can cause 40 to 70 times more damage than positive ones. Drawing on his own experience after his startup failed, he describes which mindset tool truly helped him back then. He concludes the episode with three concrete recommendations for stopping negative thoughts, creating distance from negative influences, and avoiding rumination.
Context: Who, What, Why
Who is speaking: Reza Mehman, entrepreneur, podcaster and event organizer from Heidelberg. In addition to Project Mindset, he also runs the business-related podcast “Innovation Mindset” together with Professor Dr. Stefan Lacher.
What is it about: To understand the power of negative thoughts, their impact on performance and environment, and concrete strategies to interrupt negative thought patterns.
Why is this relevant? In a time where positive thinking and affirmations are omnipresent, the first, more realistic step is often missing: simply stopping negative thinking. This topic is universally applicable and particularly relevant during difficult phases of life.
Three key questions of the episode:
- Why are positive affirmations alone not enough?
- How do negative thoughts affect performance and environment?
- What concrete steps can be taken to stop negative thought patterns?
Table of contents
- Introduction – Overview of the podcast and the main thesis of the episode
- Summary – The most important statements at a glance
- context – Who is speaking, what it’s about, and why it’s relevant
- Topics and classification – Thematic classification and keywords
- Key messages – The most concise messages of the episode
- Frequently Asked Questions – Concrete answers to typical questions on the topic
- Highlight quotes – The strongest statements from the episode
- The full conversation – Prepared transcript with subheadings
- Keywords – SEO-relevant keywords
- Names and terms – Glossary of key terms
- quotable passage – A directly usable text excerpt
Topics and classification
1. Negative thoughts and their effects
Negative thoughts cost energy, reduce performance, and affect the social environment.
Keywords: negative thoughts, spiraling thoughts, loss of energy
2. Self-fulfilling prophecy
What we think about intensely influences our behavior and the likelihood of it happening.
Keywords: self-fulfilling prophecy, mindset, thoughts and reality
3. Positive Thinking vs. Non-Negative Thinking
The step before positive affirmations is stopping negative thoughts – more realistic and effective.
Keywords: positive affirmations, positive thinking, thought stopping
4. Environment and social contagion
One’s environment massively influences one’s thoughts; negative people bring one down.
Keywords: social environment, average of 5 people, avoiding negative influences
5. Practical Mindset Tools
Concrete recommendations for action based on personal experience and insights from competitive sports.
Keywords: Mindset tools, emotional resilience, stopping rumination
Key messages
- The first step is not to think positively, but to stop thinking negatively.
- According to a football performance coach, negative thoughts are 40 to 70 times more harmful than positive thoughts are helpful.
- Self-fulfilling prophecy works both ways: those who constantly think about the negative experience it more often.
- Negative thoughts cost an enormous amount of energy and lead to going in circles.
- You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
- Negativity from one’s surroundings – social media, negative acquaintances, bad news – can rub off on oneself.
- Dwelling on past situations and worrying about the future brings no progress, but only wastes energy.
- The only thing you can really control is how you think about things.
- Believing positive affirmations is difficult if you don’t really mean them – stopping negative thoughts is the more realistic first step.
- “The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” (Marcus Aurelius)
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between stopping negative thoughts and thinking positively?
Positive thinking means actively talking yourself into positive thoughts, for example through affirmations. However, this requires that you actually believe these thoughts. Stopping negative thoughts is the more realistic, preliminary step: You don’t have to be positive, but you should stop actively thinking negatively. This is easier to implement and has an immediate effect.
What is a self-fulfilling prophecy?
A self-fulfilling prophecy describes the phenomenon that what one intensely believes or thinks about is more likely to occur. Therefore, someone who constantly thinks about failure unconsciously acts in ways that bring it about. This applies to both positive and negative thoughts.
How can I stop negative thoughts immediately?
As soon as you catch yourself having negative thoughts, you should stop immediately: think about something neutral, for example a green meadow, or do a physical activity, like 10 push-ups. The main thing is to break the spiral of negative thoughts and shift your focus.
How do negative thoughts affect the environment?
Negativity is contagious. Those who think and speak negatively influence the thoughts and moods of those around them. Likewise, those who are constantly surrounded by negative people adopt their way of thinking. According to a well-known principle, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Why are positive affirmations not suitable for everyone?
Positive affirmations only truly work if you genuinely believe them. When you’re going through an emotional low, phrases like “I’m great and I can do anything” often sound hollow and unbelievable. In such moments, it’s more realistic and helpful to simply stop having negative thoughts.
What does Marcus Aurelius say about thoughts and quality of life?
Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher and Roman emperor, put it this way: “The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” This means: The quality of one’s life depends directly on the quality of one’s thoughts. Whoever controls their thoughts, controls their life.
What good does dwelling on the past do?
Nothing. Constantly dwelling on what you could have said or done is just going in circles. You can’t know if the other person is still thinking about the situation, if it will happen again, or how it would have turned out. Dwelling on it wastes energy without changing anything.
How much more harmful are negative thoughts compared to positive ones?
According to a football performance coach from the USA, positive thoughts have a tenfold positive effect on mood. Negative thoughts, on the other hand, have a four to seven times greater negative effect than positive thoughts. This results in 40 to 70 times more damage from negative thinking compared to positive thinking.
Selected statements from Reza Mehman
“With the right mindset, anything is possible.” – Reza Mehman
“Negative thoughts drain a lot of my energy.” – Reza Mehman
“You don’t have to think positively, but you definitely mustn’t think negatively either.” – Reza Mehman
“You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with.” – Reza Mehman
“The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”- Marcus Aurelius, zitiert von Reza Mehman
“The only thing we can truly influence is how we think about it.” – Reza Mehman
“I also make sure that negativity doesn’t get to me.” – Reza Mehman
The full conversation
Welcome to Project Mindset: The idea behind the podcast
Reza Mehman:
Hi everyone, this is Reza Mehman and you’re listening to my first podcast episode of Project Mindset. I’m so glad you’re here today.
The idea behind the Project Mindset Podcast is that with the right mindset, you can achieve virtually anything in life. Whether it’s dealing with life’s ups and downs, living a balanced and happy life, or simply wanting to tackle new challenges in your professional or personal life – with the right mindset, anything is possible.
I first really started to grapple with the topic of mindset when my startup failed despite a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. I was—I remember it very clearly—in a very deep emotional hole and first had to learn and understand how to mentally cope with such a situation. And that’s exactly what I’m talking about today: mindset-related topics.
Three reasons for the podcast
Reza Mehman:
I started this podcast for three reasons, which I’d like to briefly explain so you know if you’re the right listeners for this podcast.
Number 1: I want to be a mentor for those who simply don’t have a mentor. I know what it’s like when you have questions and no one in your network you can ask them, or even because you don’t know exactly what questions to ask. So, these two issues are key: either you don’t know anyone, or you don’t even really know what to ask to get out of that situation.
Number 2: I want to give everyone interested access to my mindset tools, which can be used in various situations, for example, to become more emotionally resilient. So, if something bad or negative happens, you won’t be immediately thrown off track and unable to continue your normal life, but rather you’ll truly understand: This is a negative situation, I can use this mindset tool and can continue living my life normally.
Number 3: I find it incredibly important to share knowledge. I always find it a shame when people have certain ideas, thoughts, or insights and simply don’t share them because they want to keep them a secret. I believe that today it’s more important than ever to simply share your thoughts and knowledge. Perhaps it will help someone.
A personal motivation for the podcast
Perhaps there’s a fourth, smaller reason: Someday I’ll force my little boy to listen to my podcasts and thus understand what his father, his old dad, is like. But that’s perhaps just an internal motivation for me to start this podcast series.
General information and another podcast
Reza Mehman:
Perhaps a few more general points. It’s important to me that this isn’t a one-sided discussion. That means I won’t just be presenting my perspective; if you have any challenges or feedback, please feel free to email me at hallo@projectmindset.de. I promise to reply relatively quickly.
Throughout the podcast, you’ll notice that I repeatedly return to certain fundamental themes. To help you keep track, I’ll also write everything down in a somewhat structured way on projectmindset.de, so you can understand which topic was covered in which podcast episode, giving everyone a clear overview.
And perhaps one last thing: I have another, more business-oriented podcast. It’s called Innovation Mindset, which I run together with Professor Dr. Stefan Lacher. In it, we interview founders and CEOs of startups and larger companies about their business models and how they’ve managed to introduce innovations into their businesses. It’s really business-focused, though, and here at Project Mindset, we’re specifically going to focus on the mindset aspect.
The main topic: The power of negative thoughts
Reza Mehman:
So, let’s now get to the main part of the first episode, namely: the power of negative thoughts and how to get rid of them.
Personally, I’ve noticed that negative thoughts are addressed far less often than positive affirmations, as I see on blogs and websites. Perhaps you know what affirmations are. They’re short sentences you say to yourself: “Hey, today is a great day, I’m a great person, I’m going to achieve what I set out to do.” I think it’s a good idea in principle, but I have to say, I don’t think it’s for everyone. At least, it’s not for me to constantly present or say positive things about myself if I don’t 100% believe in them, because I might not even be in the right frame of mind to simply say positive things.
And I’ve been thinking: Okay, what actually comes before the step of positive affirmation? And for me, the step before that is to perhaps leave out the positive for now, but at least not have the negative in mind either.
Recognizing the cycle of negative thoughts
I regularly observe myself and how often I have negative thoughts. It happens so quickly that I get caught in a cycle of negative thoughts, getting upset about other people or about my own behavior at a particular time. These negative thoughts drain so much of my energy. And that’s exactly what I wanted to change. I started thinking about what I could do to break this cycle and stop thinking negatively.
The basketball example and self-fulfilling prophecy
Reza Mehman:
I also have a really interesting example that fits well with negative thoughts. It’s somewhat related to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps you’ve heard this term before. It’s about how, if you strongly believe in something, whether positive or negative, the likelihood of it actually happening is higher.
I was recently at the outdoor court shooting some hoops. After several throws, I accidentally landed in the sand on the beach volleyball court to the right of my net. I had to run in, which annoyed me, and my shoes were full of sand. I got back out and continued shooting. But I was thinking, “Ugh, now I have to be careful that I throw the ball so it doesn’t land in the sand.” I hadn’t even thought about it before it happened the first time. And when I kept thinking about that, you can guess three times what happened: the ball kept landing in the sand, over and over again.
And that’s what I mean by self-fulfilling prophecy, in this case, negative thoughts. I focused so much on these negative thoughts that exactly that happened. I found that incredibly interesting.
What a football coach knows about negative thinking
Reza Mehman:
I delved deeper into the topic and came across an interview with a football performance coach in the USA. He explained that when he trains professional football players, not just physically but also mentally, he doesn’t focus first on teaching them to think positively, because that would undoubtedly improve performance. Instead, he makes sure that the first steps are to ensure the players at least don’t think negatively.
What he means is that negative thinking simply means saying things like, “Ah, the weather’s awful today,” “Ah, my right shoulder hurts today,” or “Oh, the coach’s in a bad mood.” Just thinking these things intensifies the behavior you subsequently exhibit. And what’s even worse: if you actually voice these thoughts, it affects your teammates as well.
He also included a really good statistical comparison. He said that positive thoughts have a tenfold positive effect on mood, and negative thoughts have a four to seven times greater negative effect than positive thoughts. That’s 40 to 70 times more negative. Those are obviously staggering figures, and for performance reasons alone, it makes you think twice about simply having no negative thoughts at all.
Thoughts and their effect on the environment
And that’s exactly what I said and meant at the beginning regarding affirmations: I think it’s much harder to believe these positive affirmations in the first place. But what you can definitely control is that you don’t have negative things in your head and speak them aloud. It also has an impact on your environment, and you mustn’t forget that. If you’re in a negative mood, guess what happens next: After a while, your environment will also become negative.
The personal environment and the power of the five people
Reza Mehman:
For me, it’s like this: I personally make a point of not being negative. But what’s more, I also make sure that negativity doesn’t get to me. What I mean by that—you probably all know it, for example on Facebook or wherever. I feel like it’s so loaded with negativity, so many negative videos, negative comments, these Facebook warriors who just write negative things and want to discuss and comment on everything. I completely block that out because I know full well that negativity can spill over into others.
So it’s happened that I even end up badmouthing my friends who are negative, simply because I have less contact with them. You know the saying: You are the average of the five people you hang out with. If those five people are negative, constantly grumpy, constantly criticizing everyone’s ideas or the progress you might be making—after a while, you’ll be the same way.
So here’s another little tip, because I truly believe in it: You are the average of the five people you hang out with. Seek out people who are similarly positive, and I guarantee you that your thoughts, your mindset, and your mental state will adapt to them.
Returning to Startup Failure: The Right Mindset Tool
Reza Mehman:
Perhaps I should also return to my startup from back then. I said that I failed at it, despite a lot of hard work, blood, and sweat. That was about two to three years after the launch. So, initially things went quite well, but then, unfortunately, I think a few bad decisions were made personally, and in the end, we couldn’t continue like that.
And when I was in that emotional funk, of course friends, relatives, and acquaintances came along and tried to cheer me up. “Hey Reza, chin up, you’ll get through this,” “Hey, at least you had the experience,” “Look at it positively, you did this and that,” and so on. And you probably know what I mean: When you’re in a situation like that, where your world is collapsing around you, it just doesn’t help much when someone says, “Hey, chin up, you gained so much experience” or “Taking part is everything.” That’s one of my favorite sayings: “Taking part is everything.” So, at that moment, it had absolutely no effect on me.
Finding a suitable tool after failure
I did try to see it positively, and of course you gain experience and all that. But in that moment—I can only say this in retrospect—it would have been much more effective for me if someone had come along and said: “Hey Reza, everything went badly. Yes, you failed there. Really, let’s be honest: it went wrong. But you don’t have to be positive now. You can at least say that you’re no longer dwelling on it negatively. You’re just going in circles anyway, it’s not getting you anywhere. So you don’t have to think positively, but you definitely mustn’t think negatively either.”
And looking back, that would have been a mindset tool that would have helped me a lot back then if someone had just told me directly. So, if there’s anyone in the audience who has recently experienced or is experiencing a setback in their personal or professional life: I don’t want to say, “Cheer up, life goes on.” Rather, I want to say: Hey, don’t dwell on it negatively. Process what happened, but don’t get stuck in a cycle. Definitely don’t have negative thoughts, and certainly don’t voice them.
Brooding and why it leads you astray
Reza Mehman:
Everyone knows that feeling of going in circles. I have a good example of something I used to do a lot: when I got into discussions with people and argued with them, and then maybe afterwards thought, “Oh yeah, I should have said that,” or “I should have done this and that,” or “Next time I’ll say this and that.” Let go of those thoughts. Honestly, you’re just going in circles. It only wears you down because you’re thinking: I wasn’t quick-witted enough in that moment, next time I’ll say this and that. How do you know that the other person you argued with is having the exact same thoughts? Will the discussion even happen again? And so on. In other words, you’re just going in circles. So just let it go.
And here’s a great quote from Marcus Aurelius – perhaps you know him or have heard of him? He once said: “The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” I think that’s fantastic. It’s also incredibly relevant right now, not only to today’s topic, the power of negative thoughts, but also to the lockdown we’re currently experiencing. I think we’ve all realized how powerless we are in this situation. We can’t control practically anything except our thoughts. The external circumstances, the contact restrictions, the activities, sports, and so on that we can’t really do – we have absolutely no influence over those. The only thing we can truly influence is how we think about it.
Conclusion: Three recommendations for action
Reza Mehman:
Okay, we’re almost at the end of the first episode. I try to keep the Project Mindset episodes relatively short and only say the most important things. So, here’s the end. Perhaps a short summary of today’s episode.
Number 1: Avoid having negative thoughts at all costs. If you catch yourself having them, stop immediately. Think of a green meadow, or do 10 push-ups, or do anything else to distract yourself. But the main thing is to get rid of those negative thoughts.
Number 2: Maintain a healthy distance from negative people, news, or simply things that can happen. And don’t forget: You are the average of the five people you hang out with.
And number 3: Avoid dwelling on the past and avoid unnecessary worries about the future. As I’ve said many times before: You’re just going in circles. You don’t even know if what you’re imagining can or will actually happen.
Great, that’s it! If you enjoyed the content or at least found something useful, please give me a like, subscribe to the channel, and tell your friends and acquaintances. That definitely helps me grow the channel. And as I said, I’m super open to questions, feedback, or even personal chats. Just write to me at hallo@projectmindset.de. So, have a great day, everyone, and see you next time. And don’t forget: mindset is everything.
Keywords
Tags: getting rid of negative thoughts, mindset, positive affirmations, self-fulfilling prophecy, emotional resilience, stopping rumination, Project Mindset Podcast, thought stopping, negative thinking, environment and mindset, average of 5 people, startup failure, Marcus Aurelius quote, football performance coach, emotional strength, Reza Mehman, personal development, negative thoughts impact performance, mindset tools, positive thinking
Names and terms
Reza Mehman, Project Mindset, Innovation Mindset, Professor Dr. Stefan Lacher, Marcus Aurelius, affirmations, self-fulfilling prophecy, mindset tools, thought stopping, emotional resilience, performance coach, rumination, negativity spiral, projectmindset.de
quotable passage
In the first episode of his podcast Project Mindset, Reza Mehman, an entrepreneur and podcaster from Heidelberg, describes why positive affirmations alone are not enough.
“You don’t have to think positively. But you definitely mustn’t think negatively either” – for him, that is the crucial first step to a strong mindset.
An American football performance coach he met statistically proves this: Negative thoughts are 40 to 70 times more harmful than positive thoughts are helpful.
From his own experience after the failure of his startup, Mehman knows: In an emotional low, “chin up” doesn’t help, but rather the clear message to stop letting negative thoughts go round in circles.
His message: The only thing you can truly control are your own thoughts – and the first step begins with not letting them drift into negativity.
Getting rid of negative thoughts – that’s the topic of the first episode of Project Mindset with Reza Mehman. In this episode, I explain why positive affirmations alone aren’t enough and why the first step to a strong mindset is stopping negative thoughts. Using a basketball example, a statistical analysis from professional football, and a personal account after my startup failed, I show just how powerful negative thoughts really are – and what concrete steps you can take to combat them.
Episode topics and timestamps
In this episode you will learn: – Why negative thoughts are 40 to 70 times more harmful than positive thoughts are helpful – What a self-fulfilling prophecy has to do with negative thinking – Why your environment massively influences your thinking – Three concrete recommendations for action to stop negative thinking immediately.
Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro and the idea behind Project Mindset 01:11 – Three reasons for the podcast 03:46 – The main topic: The power of negative thoughts 05:59 – The basketball example and self-fulfilling prophecy 07:14 – What a football coach knows about negative thinking 09:00 – Environment and the power of five people 10:43 – Startup failure and the right mindset tool 13:03 – Rumination and why it doesn’t help 14:47 – Conclusion: Three recommendations for action
Feel free to contact me with any questions or feedback at: hallo@projectmindset.de More information and a structured overview of all episodes:https://www.projectmindset.de#ProjectMindset #NegativeThoughts #Mindset #SelfDevelopment #RezaMehman #Podcast #Affirmations #EmotionalResilience #ThoughtStopping #Motivation What really helps when you’re in an emotional slump?
Further thoughts on the first episode
Not “chin up” and not “just think positive.” In the first episode of my new podcast, Project Mindset, I talk about the power of negative thoughts and what the real first step to a strong mindset is. My insight: The step BEFORE positive affirmations is to stop thinking negatively. Sounds simple. It isn’t. Three things I share in this episode: – Why negative thoughts are 40 to 70 times more damaging than positive thoughts are helpful – How the principle of the self-fulfilling prophecy works in everyday life – Why your environment shapes your thinking more than you think. Listen now – link in the comments. #ProjectMindset #Mindset #NegativeThoughts #SelfDevelopment #Podcast #Leadership #Entrepreneurship Positive affirmations – great. But what if you simply don’t believe them yet?
In the first episode of Project Mindset, Reza Mehman discusses why the first step to a strong mindset isn’t positive thinking, but rather stopping negative thoughts. He shares a surprising finding from professional football and a personal story about a failed startup. A short episode, a clear message, immediately applicable – listen now.
You can find more episodes and personal insights at Project Mindset.
