22. Finding the right balance in life | Bill Schlichter on Project Mindset

Hi everyone, I just have a very short comment. I was allowed to conduct another interview, this time with my good friend Bild schlichter. We recorded the whole thing on a basketball court and played a little bit during the interview, just to make it a bit more interesting and to do something visually different.

You can watch the video on YouTube; just search for “project mindset” and it should appear near the top. Or you can go to the “project mindset” website, where I’ve linked it. Of course, you can also stay here with the audio podcast. Okay, enough talk. I hope you enjoy the episode.

A first glimpse into Bill’s motivation

And what I want to achieve is something special, not that I need the status. But I want to show my parents gratitude because they brought someone here, gave me the chance. I’ve made something special out of it. Giving my children a special life matters to me. I could, no, I could work somewhere and earn good money. But I think that would simply stifle my own creativity and ambition too much. I want to create something special.

Welcome on the basketball court

Hey everyone and welcome to Project Mindset, the channel for all those who know that with the right mindset, anything is possible in life. Today we have a very special guest with us, which I’m very happy about. He is the founder and CEO of a sports startup, revolutionizing the fitness industry with the apps and applications he writes, and is also a loving father of three sweet little daughters.

As if all that weren’t enough, he’s also a very active athlete, super competitive in the sports he plays. I can attest to that because I’ve played against him a few times. That’s why I’m especially happy today that he took the time to talk to me. Thanks so much for being here today. Thanks for the invitation, it’s always a pleasure. Where better to talk to someone like that than on the court? So, a little one-on-one today. I’m really looking forward to the game. Maybe we’ll do a little warm-up first, and I’ll ask my first questions right away. I’m really looking forward to it. Best interview ever.

Who is Bill Schlichter?

Perhaps you could briefly explain to our listeners who Private Bill is. Private Bill, good question. Hopeless optimist, managing director. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing something so crazy, such a project. I’m the father of three previous little girls whom I love above all else and whom I motivate every day.

And generally stubborn, I don’t give up, that’s just how I am. In my own mind, I’m optimistic, stubborn, and loving towards my three little girls and my team. Really nice, because that’s exactly how I would assess you, honestly. I’ve seen you at children’s playgrounds with your kids; we even met by chance there once. That’s interesting to me… I know that this business can be extremely stressful; you have an incredibly large number of customers, some of them quite stressful.

Combining business, family and sport

How do you find the balance between taking care of your business and your family, and continuing your sport in your private life? How do you manage your time? I’ve had listeners say they don’t have enough time, for example, to exercise. It’s a high standard I set for myself. I think it would be unfair if I were giving it my all in my professional life while my children at home just have a tired old slob.

That means as soon as I get home I don’t even think about it, I take the children, dress them and we go out to the playground because the time is owed to the energy that misses me too, that means the same energy that I simply put into my business, almost the same energy that my children and family at home earn. I wouldn’t accept anything else.

That’s why I’m often tired; I need very little sleep to compensate and recharge. But this simple optimism within me refreshes me like my batteries when I need it.

What gets neglected in everyday life

But do you ever feel like something is actually being neglected, like you might not have enough time for any part of your life? Definitely, my private life is gone. I mean, sports are the only thing I still do now, my fitness studies. Office work, basketball is something I’d like to play again, except in interviews. We play the driving game and spend time with my wife, private time. Everything suffers a bit because of it, but I try to compensate with a lot of love and energy as best I can.

And as long as we communicate openly, my children also know why Dad is in the office today at noon and late in the evening. They know what I’m doing it for, that we have a goal. They support me, give me energy, tell me it’s okay, and forgive me for sometimes working 14 or 15 hours in a workday. That helps me too.

Separate work stress from family life

Does it ever happen that you somehow feel like you’re carrying the stress from somewhere else into your private life? Yes, well, it’s hard, I notice it myself, and I constantly have to challenge myself not to pass this stress on to my children. Because it’s not their fault, that was my crazy idea. And it’s not always easy, I have to start with myself. I notice I get loud with them way too quickly for no reason.

And then I also have to be able to apologize for that, I have to live up to the standard I have. I want to be the best father in the world for them, and if I can’t manage that, not in their eyes, I see it, then I also have to take the blame and say that it was my fault, that it’s not theirs, that it’s not because they are children, they want to play, they are exhausting, that’s how it is, that’s how it has to be. I have to allow that without letting my work life interfere with it.

And it’s not always easy, especially not to completely let go of the difficult years we’ve been through. But as soon as I walk through the door at home, work life is gone for me. And there will be moments when I realize I’m far too tense and have to question where it comes from because it definitely can’t be from them. I’m with them for three hours a day; the other twelve hours are spent in the business. That’s where the complicated customers, the challenge, the financial anxiety that drives me.

Identify the origin of the pressure

And if you manage to question where this, this tightness, this pressure comes from and even criticize yourself, you will also manage to identify and address these weaknesses as best you can. It’s not always perfect. You notice your stress level is always at an 8 or 9, and if that’s the case, you just have to try to turn it down somehow because it’s not their fault.

Practical ways to switch off

Are there any tricks you use? For example, a friend of mine says that when he goes home he deliberately switches his phone to airplane mode, he doesn’t take any calls, he’s simply unreachable. I find that very radical. I mean, work-wise, otherwise he doesn’t even get to just be a dad at home.

Are there any tricks you use where you say, “I’m now separating my work life and everything else I have to do from my private life”? Because I also sometimes struggle with that, especially when I’m working from home. Of course, I don’t have any time to unwind from work directly, so to speak, right before dinner. I have absolutely no time to wind down. I also had to think about how to cope with that.

Be active together with the children

What do you do? Just take the kids out to the playground, start cooking with them right away, start playing Legos with them. So I don’t even get a chance to switch my brain back on for work, since I’m sitting there bored. So, just take them out to the playground, run around, play tag at home, or other things. That really means no time at all, we don’t let them rest. So that I don’t get back into work mode, that’s how I distract myself.

Okay, I understand. That means you go all in on family life, you deal with them directly. That way you can manage to switch your mindset directly from work mode to family mode. Exactly, simple. Yes, I’m all about action tips, it’s always been that way. It helps me so I don’t even think. But we just do things that distract me from the workday, the stress. Why? Until they go to sleep, I owe it to him to be fully focused on them. When they go to sleep, I go back to the office, and then I can switch my brain back on.

Motivation and reliable habits

I would now like to talk about the topic of motivation. I myself have a bit of a problem with the topic because I am not entirely convinced that one has to be motivated to do anything in life. Instead, I have tried to develop systems for myself where I say I can still deliver something even if I am not motivated at times.

There are days when I’m fully motivated and then I really go for it. And there are days when I’m not so motivated. But I still want to be able to make progress on the important topics, even on those days.

How exactly do you deal with the topic of motivation? Are you similar in that respect? I sometimes get the impression that you are someone who is extremely motivated to tackle your topics, which I think is really cool. But do you also have days when you say, “I’m not motivated at all, I have to think about how to proceed”? How do you deal with that topic?

Tackle even unpleasant tasks

Motivation is essential, I believe, for every day, but it doesn’t have to be present for every task. For example, legal topics: I hate legal topics and I have to overcome myself, convince myself that I want to do it now. I want to tackle it now, so it’s a kind of mental manipulation.

Starting the day with gratitude

Generally, my motivation comes from the start of the day when I can get up. My children are doing well, my wife is doing well, I live in Germany where I have every opportunity in the world. For me, everything else is a victory in a day. That’s simply starting a day where I say, “From one thing to the next, it will be positive again, as I said from the beginning.” I am an extremely positive person because I simply believe that what we have here is a gift.

And from that point on, every challenge, every task that presents me, is a gift. It’s simply difficult, perhaps tiring, something like legal issues, but it’s simply nothing compared to real problems. I have, and through this I convince myself that even if it’s not my strength, even if it’s strenuous for me, I can manage it.

I don’t like doing what needs to be done, and the sooner I get it done, the more I can get on with the fun stuff. The faster I get this over with, the faster I can move on to the fun topics that really motivate me every day.

The next steps in the company

To come up with new ideas for the apps, to plan the strategy for 20, 22, 20, 23, to further development that we want to do or steps that we are taking, what I already mentioned earlier with plans 5, 6 and 7, where we want to develop towards. In order to be able to do that, I have to overcome the first step, I have to go through that. That then motivates me again, that might create subsequent motivation for me.

But it starts differently right from the beginning of the day. I say, no matter what challenges come, I will master them because everything here in Germany is poison, and with his wife’s three wonderful little girls, what do I have to lose in one day?

What gratitude means to us

That’s amazing, so I approach the topic by saying I’m extremely grateful for what I have. Gratitude is a very important topic for me personally. I notice, or rather, I hear, that for you too, starting the day with gratitude is a topic. Grateful, yes, definitely. I think that’s it. We should never forget that with all the stress we put on ourselves, I want the car, I want to achieve that by then.

By the time I’m 30, I’ll have a house and a car. We’ve basically set these goals for ourselves. And they demotivate us to the point where I say: We really have zero problems in Germany. There’s no existential crisis, no famine, there’s really no poverty.

Of course there is poverty, that’s a bit of a generalization, but in terms of the opportunities that Germany offers us, we have simply won in the place where we were born.

And if I didn’t appreciate that properly, I think a lot of the wonderful things you can experience every day would be lost. You would only focus on the negative. That motivates me, that gives me a positive boost.

The history of one’s own family

I am grateful for everything I have, the opportunity, and also for my father, who had to get up every morning at 6 a.m. on the farm in Minnesota and work hard in the freezing cold. What he accomplished to bring me here and this opportunity, if I weren’t grateful for it or didn’t use it properly, I feel like I’m not showing him the gratitude for the sacrifices he made for his family, which I don’t truly appreciate.

These are little things that I project onto others, things that help me calm down, especially when things are tough with the company, or when I have a difficult client. I tell myself there are worse things in life. That for every problem there is a solution. I have to find it now. This allows me to block out all the negative noise in my head. I can really focus on the problem, and I think that has always been one of my strengths.

Focus on solvable problems

In difficult times, I manage to completely ignore these negative thoughts, these fears, these pressures, these expectations, in order to truly focus on just one problem. I often see this in many intelligent people with incredible potential. You see their suffering and worries written on their faces. Their own expectations are visible. You see all the problems they are currently going through and are at a loss as to how to solve them, instead of simply starting and blocking out all these distractions.

And I believe that my super strength, even in the hardest times when we were practically broke, was always to find a solution to our problems. I could block things out, still sleep in the evenings, which I think is underestimated, like when you’re under financial pressure, just to be able to sleep well and start the next day motivated and grateful.

I have the ball of my hand, the game is not over yet, as long as I can fit the two things together, I can still turn everything around, I can still win the game. That is a bit of my mindset, how I convince myself in difficult times to block out the unnecessary voices and not just focus on my goal.

Dealing with defeats

Exactly, but we also had setbacks in life from time to time. Yes, that happens. You mentioned there were also stressful times for you, of course, at the company. How do you manage to keep the setbacks from distracting you from the vision you’re pursuing with your company and your family? So, how do you manage to put aside the negative thoughts that make such a difference? What tools do you use besides gratitude?

Let go of unnecessary worries

I think the strongest thing she said was really, “I ignore her, it doesn’t help me.” My mindset from the beginning has been, “If it doesn’t help you solve the problem, why are you carrying it around with you?”

Why do you take on this burden? Where does accepting this expectation lead? Why do you let society tell you, “I told you it doesn’t work,” or “We have problems”? Do you need to keep talking to all those people around you and carrying that baggage? I’m throwing all these problems away and focusing on the problem because everything else—and it really is that simple—if it doesn’t help you, let it go.

That’s my mental trick: with every worry I have, even if it’s justified, I can lie down and say, “Okay, what was the problem? What didn’t I understand? What was it all about?” Then I calmly analyze it again. I always do a basketball game after the game; during the game, it’s just, “How do we turn this around now?”

Reflecting after a challenge

And after the game, I analytically went through everything I did wrong, what I did right, what I didn’t think was my fault, or what I was responsible for. I was always very self-critical of my own performance, to the point that I was also defending myself against myself, my own mental state, i.e., why did you make that decision?

And it helped me that even in these difficult times, as you know, our initial team wasn’t perfect. Let’s call it the sports platform that successfully failed.

What remains of a failed project

It didn’t bother me that it was smart because I learned so much from it. Sure, I had some unhappy company; I myself was more than unhappy that the dream I had didn’t turn out the way I wanted at the beginning.

Yes, but I simply put down this luggage. Yes, I knew I had a good idea. The ball is still running, the ball is still in my hand. There is only forward. I believe people often underestimate what they are capable of when they block out everything else and focus only on the problem.

I always find this thought of being backed into a corner, and now you have a problem because now there’s only one way forward for me: giving up. You can do that, it’s easy, anyone can give up. But I’m too stubborn for that. For me, there’s only one way forward now, and that’s forward. Everything else that stops me is in the way.

Expectations of oneself and the team

I get the impression that you are also relatively self-critical, so you question why you made that decision and so on. Does it come across a bit like having expectations of yourself? The first question and the second question: do you have expectations of your fellow human beings?

So that they perform just as well as you, that they are just as self-critical as you, that your team members (to put it simply, team in a company) deliver the same level of performance and are just as self-critical as you.

Joy and trust in collaboration

So many questions in there, let’s start with no. To my team, I expect that they enjoy every Monday. I expect them to come in motivated, that they love every Monday. It simply makes me happy when I know people say, “Now let ‘s go, it’s Monday, let’s see where we stand on Friday.”

I also try not to burden them too much over the weekend because I know there’s a bit of… I know I try to involve them only when necessary, but actually I know that everyone is different and everyone has a different balance, and as long as they stand behind me from Monday to Friday and fully support me in everything. They do… They’re the best team, I couldn’t be prouder of what they’ve done, stuck by me through tough times, and have complete trust.

That is my expectation; I would be disappointed if they no longer trusted me because I abused that trust, because I made a mistake. That’s also possible.

Accept support on bad days

And I tell everyone on the team that there are bad days and good days. If you’re having a bad day, speak up and say what the problem is, and trust your teammates to balance things out. I’ve seen that in basketball before; there were the best teams with individual talents, and we beat them because we simply stuck together. And that’s how it is with Actenet right now.

Of course, expectations are high, so it’s no lie that nobody expects anything from her. I’ll only be happy when she’s happy. On Monday, I’ll be happy. Secondly, we have tasks that need to be done. If you complete the tasks, you can go home on Thursday as far as I’m concerned.

Because everyone recharges differently, not everyone gets up like me, simply grateful that one is alive, that the children are doing well, and yes, I am.

Self-criticism and one’s own contribution

That’s to you, and yes, I am extremely self-critical. I always try to reflect when the day is over, I try to question myself why the decision was made that way, whether it came from pride or ego.

Ego was often the answer. Hurt ego: why did I react that way, why did I attack him now, why couldn’t I just let it go? That was one of my best tools, even when I was younger. After every basketball game, my dad would go to where I was after the game, we’d talk about what was good and bad. I, as a young guy, never wanted to accept it. It was a great game, 20 points, what do you want from me?

But then there were situations inside where I said that just because I approached it positively, I forgot the things that would improve me, so the pass was unnecessary. I was too selfish in certain situations. My behavior wasn’t correct.

Continue learning even after successes

You often learn more from losses than from wins, but if you manage to approach it with self-criticism, you’ll take even more away from a win and be able to perform even better in the next game. That’s what I actually want to do. Not every time, but every day, every week, so that I question myself more and try to get a little better every day. And I hope I will.

Children as individuals

Now I come to a completely different important topic for me, namely the topic of children. This takes up a very important space in my life personally – family, the topic of children, and so on. For a long time, I understood children as my own, or my children as my legacy. I have to teach them everything, I have to guide them, they mustn’t make my mistakes, and so on and so forth, until I eventually realized…

Children are unique individuals with their own identities, and I can’t mold them the way I’d like. Mistakes can absolutely happen, and that’s where my question comes in. I realized at some point that I can’t treat children as my legacy, so to speak. I have to let them grow, but I can at least teach them things that I don’t want them to do.

And one issue for me is that I don’t want to be constantly busy with my children. I’m someone who’s always busy from morning till night, and that stresses me out sometimes. I try to cope with it mentally. But I want to make sure my child isn’t just busy, but can also enjoy the moment, can enjoy life. I’m working on that myself.

What values ​​we want to instill in children

Which topics matter most when you think about your children? What do you want to pass on to them, or what do you absolutely not want to pass on to them?

If there was only one thing I had to decide on. I tell my children this every day, they can do what they want, they have unlimited potential, they have unlimited opportunities. It’s up to them, and they should try different things to find out who they are and who they want to be.

Confidence in one’s own abilities

And these motivations, this energy, this belief in oneself, this trust – I believe the most solid foundation for every person is that one believes in oneself and knows that one can rely on oneself in the most difficult times, that one doesn’t need anyone else. That one can get out of this misery. I believe that if I manage to ensure that my children grow up and have self-confidence similar to mine, and believe in themselves at all times, then I will be happy with that, if that were the only thing.

The other thing is of course love; they should fail, they should try things. I have three girls, so some boys will show up eventually. I have to fight with that too; I think that’s my biggest challenge, my biggest motivation to train. The first time the first boy appears and I see him, does he know that I should behave? No, that will also be part of their lives.

Children and their use of technology

That’s why they were also my closest friends. I was also afraid of them having cell phones, that they already had one, that they already knew how to use it, that they spent a lot of time with it. Why? Because I was afraid they would become zombies. But at the same time, I saw how they interacted with technology, how much they motivated others around them to get involved and see these things.

And how quickly they learn things through it. So I’ve tried to push my closest ones away again, and often it happens that we’ve already experienced things ourselves and therefore forbid certain things. But they have to go through it. And the foundation, the most important foundation, is self-confidence, that’s what that is for me too.

Freedom instead of constant requirements

Is there a topic where you explicitly say you want to teach him not to do that, like with me, for example, the topic of being busy all day? No, I actually think I’ll let them develop naturally. We have a different approach anyway; we go to Waldorf schools and had a forest kindergarten. Our approach gives them room to find themselves; we treat them like young adults.

Of course, there’s a certain amount of parental guidance involved, but we do give him more freedom, and this freedom is part of it. As I said, I try to simply ignore my closest family members. I often try to ignore things that I notice come from my own upbringing, like the need for cleanliness. Everything has to be clean.

Question your own expectations of order

We have an apartment that’s completely messed up. It sometimes drives me crazy because the children paint on the walls or do other artistic things. These are issues I’ve tried to address, but I realize I’m trying to impose them on them.

Like you, with your busyness, I need to challenge myself, get out there and find out why it bothers me so much, and let them be children. The biggest adjustment one has to make is ignoring one’s own closest worries.

What remains from the conversation

Bill, that’s amazing! I always try to keep the Project Opinion episodes relatively short, which is why they’re always short interviews, but I learned so much. The topic of gratitude is always about expectations, and I thought your approach to dealing with negative thoughts was fantastic. I’d like to ask my final question right away, but before I do…

Bill and his company online

Where can people find you online if they want to follow you and accompany you on your journey? They can follow you on Instagram under “Schlichter 09”. You can also follow Akteneet GmbH at the same time. Then you’ll always see what we’re up to, whether I’m at the bank again giving motivational speeches or doing interviews like today. These are quite good insights into my company. The company posts more often than I do myself, but that goes to both channels.

Bill’s defining mindset

Very cool, now to my last question: which motto has had the biggest impact on your life? It was a simple saying that has always stayed with me, which you can also find on my LinkedIn profile: anything that’s easy to have isn’t worth having.

This means that if I’m working on something or if everyone can afford the same things, it’s nothing special, and what I want to achieve is special, not because I need the status, but because I want it.

Showing gratitude to my parents matters to me because they brought me here, gave me the chance, and I’ve made something special out of it. Giving my children a special life is important to me, and I could… no, I could… I could work somewhere and earn good money, but I think that would stifle my own creativity and ambition too much. I don’t want anything special.

Create something unique and meaningful

Creating the platform, the app that you already knew back then, the goal of which was not to have an app for myself. I wanted to create something that will of course be difficult, the path will be rocky, but will enrich the world.

And that requires a lot of motivation, a lot of energy, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, which will certainly come into play at some point. But it’s not easy, and if you’re looking for an easy way, then it’s definitely not one I’ve chosen in the past because this demand on myself has always been the different, be better.

Finish on the basketball court

Mega cool closing words, my friend, thank you so much for the interview. I’m really excited, we have very similar topics: gratitude and expectations. These topics seem relevant to our listeners as well as to us. I believe he also hopes that he learns something from it. These are the little things that sometimes simply push me forward and motivate me every day.

True words, guys, follow this guy. I think it’s incredible how he finds the balance between his company, private life, and his sport. From my perspective, it’s not as easy as it all looks. I’m sure there’s always a struggle like that. Yes, I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. I hope we see each other again soon, and don’t forget, friends, my set is everything. You have the position, you have… Yes