92. Why we sabotage ourselves to prevent our own success.

Hi everyone and welcome to Project Mindset, the channel for all those who know that with the right mindset, anything is possible. Before we get to today’s topic, which is self-fulfilling prophecies, I have a short story to tell that I found super interesting. I was talking to an acquaintance about the value of a university degree. The topic interests me personally. In 2008, I graduated from the University of Mannheim with a diploma in business administration.

I’d say it was a good university, very demanding, incredibly difficult, and of course, it helped a lot with the first jobs I applied for, getting them in the first place. Because the university’s reputation for business administration was, and still is, very good. Looking back, though, I would recommend that my children study something. I find it really difficult to answer this question, specifically regarding security, so that you can get a job somewhere. Yes, I would recommend a university degree.

Study or start a business directly?

But if, for example, someone wants to study business administration, like me, and eventually wants to own their own company, then I have to say it’s much more effective to spend five years trying to build their own company, bringing their product to market, and understanding how to sell it, how to market it, and how to handle sales, than to spend five years learning theory. I have a good example of this: if I were to give someone the task of spending five years studying the complete rulebook of basketball, watching videos, analyzing them, figuring out what the rules are, how exactly to play, what size ball is needed, and so on and so forth.

He does this for five years, even writes his thesis on it, and then, for the first time in five years, he picks up a ball and plays against someone who’s been playing basketball for five years already, someone who might not know anything about the theory, but just plays basketball. It’s perfectly clear who would win in this matchup: the one with the practical experience. And that’s precisely the problem I have with university studies. You study something for years, but have little to no practical experience, because, quite honestly, you also have to consider internships.

What practical experience teaches

I also did a lot of part-time work on the side. I was also an intern at several companies. You’re naturally kept busy with various tasks. You learn something through these jobs, but if you want to become an entrepreneur, for example, I would say you should focus on studying while simultaneously trying to build your own business, understanding all the processes, what it actually means to create a proposal, and how to do sales.

These are the core topics, or follow-up topics such as accounting, reconciliation, tax advisors, etc. There are many issues, many tax-related aspects that only arise in reality and aren’t something you learn by simply trying to understand what a balance sheet is, for example, how to prepare one, and so on. In reality, things always turn out differently than expected. Therefore, to summarize briefly, yes, I think studying is a good idea, but preferably in combination with truly practical applications, like starting your own business.

I also find it amusing that someone might study something 30 or 40 years ago and still say, “Yes, I’m a biologist.” Maybe I’ve done something completely different for the last 40 years, but I’m still a biologist, chemist, or whatever. On the one hand, that’s good for the people who hold those degrees. They can always present their certificate: “I’m a business graduate,” “I’m a biologist,” and so on. But on the other hand, it can be completely out of touch with reality. In the meantime, they’ve done everything but the subject they studied 30 or 40 years ago.

Educational pathways and the value of a title

And yet, people still say, or can still benefit from, this title. I find that a bit odd, or rather, not entirely realistic. Okay, so there are many arguments for and against. My acquaintance and I couldn’t find common ground on this. He was all for the degree, I was for something in between. But anyway, that’s another topic. What I actually want to talk about today, though, is… And sorry for throwing in these little anecdotes here and there. I always find them very interesting from a mindset perspective.

How you think about your life, about learning, and so on, and immediately. That’s why I include stories like this here and there. But back to the topic of self-fulfilling prophecies. I talked about this in a very early podcast episode. I absolutely believe that if you have an opinion or a mental image of how something will play out in the future, the probability is very high that it will happen exactly that way. Both positively and negatively. And self-fulfilling prophecies mean something like linking your behavior to the beliefs you hold.

Continued

I also read a pretty good definition online. Basically, the core idea of ​​a self-fulfilling prophecy is that if we expect a certain behavior or outcome, we ourselves contribute to making that behavior or outcome happen. I definitely think that’s true. If I imagine that something will happen in the near future, then I’ll already be acting that way today. Especially with my decisions, I’ll make sure that’s how it will come about.

There are many excellent examples of this in sports. I personally find visualization very relevant in sports. When I’m throwing a ball towards the basketball hoop, it’s a little trick for me to imagine the ball going in, because then I decide how to hold my hand, how high to jump, and so on, so that the ball actually goes in. But if I imagine it definitely won’t go in, well, obviously…

Then, of course, my entire body posture is probably different and not even designed for me to hit the target. In sports, I find it incredibly easy to understand and visualize, and that visualization then manifests itself in the result that actually comes. But now, let’s consider other topics. I have to say, I’ve been a huge Will Smith fan. I think many of you know what I’m getting at. Will Smith released something about a year ago, I believe.

A look back at Oscar night

During the Oscars, during the ceremony, he punched the host, Chris Rock, a comedian. Chris Rock had made a joke on stage about Will Smith’s wife. Then he went up on stage and punched him right in front of everyone. It certainly didn’t look like a gentle punch. My first thought was that it was all an act. It wasn’t real, because why would you punch a comedian—that’s his job, to make a joke at other people’s expense—why would you punch him after 30 or 40 years in show business?

I was very surprised, but apparently it was all very real. It wasn’t prearranged, it all seemed very genuine. The crazy thing is that Will Smith knew that evening that he was most likely going to win an Oscar. He played the role—I hadn’t seen the film, but it was about him playing the father of the Williams sisters, Serena Williams, the tennis player. And apparently it’s a pretty good film, I believe it.

Success, recognition, and personal expectations

I think Will Smith has made some very good films, but maybe some not-so-good ones too. But I do believe he’s a good actor. And winning an Oscar that evening was a kind of crowning achievement for him. I think every actor, every good actor, dreams of winning an Oscar someday. But now comes the part where I see the theme of a self-fulfilling prophecy, really on point, live in action. I remembered seeing an interview with Will Smith years ago where he talked about how he’s always dissatisfied with himself in everything he does.

That quote was still possible to find. I did a little searching online, and the quote goes something like this. He said, “I’m the kind of person who’s always dissatisfied with myself. I’ll never be smart enough, a good enough father or a good enough husband. Even as an actor, I won’t feel good enough for myself. I just won’t be. I just have to get used to waking up every day and trying to become a little bit more the person I’ve always dreamed of being.”

A personal assessment of self-sabotage

I’m not trying to make any kind of armchair psychological diagnosis here. Psychology is not my profession, nor do I intend it to be. I don’t want to pretend that I am one. This is really just my impression of someone thinking that way. And sure, there are many other issues. I didn’t even know he was like that, for example; I only found out later that he has such a seriously toxic relationship with his wife. I don’t know, I’m not that deeply involved.

Others probably know more about this than I do. But apparently, the relationship is also very strange, let’s just say that. But I remembered that quote. I thought he said it back then more for sporting reasons. Something like, “I have to get better every day. I work on myself every day.” But if someone is truly convinced that they’re simply not good enough, no matter what they do, even acting, then for me it’s actually a self-fulfilling prophecy that on the evening they receive the crowning, the proof from everyone around them that they’re a top actor, they’ll be sabotaging themselves in that very moment.

Continued

I even believe—and I hope I’m not sticking my neck out here—that it was bound to happen that he sabotaged himself. Because he predicted it himself. He’ll never be enough. And unfortunately, that’s how it will be for him. He did get the Oscar that night, but at the same time, as far as I can see, he was banned from attending the Oscars for ten years. And no one will remember that he got an Oscar, but rather that he was the only person who, that evening, in front of everyone on stage and a worldwide broadcast, gave someone else—a much smaller, much weaker person—a lesson for a joke that, I believe, was only meant as a joke because the person in question was a comedian.

Exactly, and for me, that’s a prime example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. He apparently believed so strongly that he wasn’t good enough that he himself ensured he wasn’t good enough to be, for example, a good actor. This naturally leads to other questions, which are also very complex for me personally, namely the topic of free will. I’ve read up a bit on whether we humans even have free will. Many would say, of course we do.

Belief systems and the question of free will

Yes, but perhaps we are so influenced by our beliefs, by our convictions about ourselves, about who we are, about what we are, that we might not even have free will. I find it super interesting, many technologies are like that too; I catch myself doing it as well. For example, I think about myself, whether I have free will or not. My thought is also, what do others think about me? And sometimes I catch myself behaving the way I think others think about me.

I definitely don’t want to talk about that today. It is a very complex topic. I’d really like to discuss it with an expert, and I’m currently looking around to see if I can find someone. Your suggestions would mean a great deal to me. I also think there won’t be a universally accepted definition of free will. Some will see it one way, others another. I’m not entirely sure how I see it myself yet, but discussing it would be extremely interesting.

Anyway , today it was important for me to talk about the self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s like in this example with Will Smith, where what we think about ourselves is extremely important. That means if I think positively about myself, if I have a positive opinion of myself, then I’m most likely to make decisions that will lead in a positive direction. So, folks, as always, a short Project Mindset episode. I hope you still enjoyed it.

To conclude the episode

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