120. Filter out negativity and choose your advisers carefully

Hi everyone and welcome to Project Mindset, the channel for all those who know that with the right mindset, anything is possible. It’s great to have you with us again today. In today’s podcast, I’ll be discussing two topics: negative communication and listening to the right advice. Let’s start with the first topic, negative communication. I recently read something on tagesschau.de that I’d like to share here.

I found it incredibly interesting. The news item is from March 14, 2024, and it says, “Third test flight unsuccessful, SpaceX reports loss of giant rocket.” That’s the headline. Then it continues. You need to listen to me for a moment so you know what it’s about. The text says that the third test flight of the gigantic SpaceX rocket Starship also failed. Apparently, it was destroyed upon re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere. One day, it’s supposed to transport people to the moon and Mars.

Then it continues. The largest rocket system ever built failed to complete its third test flight. The unmanned Starship managed to reach space after launching from SpaceX’s Starbase spaceport in Boca Chica, Texas II. However, it was destroyed upon re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere, as the livestream commentators and others reported. So, how often did those few sentences just mention that something was unsuccessful, a loss, a failure, destroyed, and so on and so forth?

The effect of negative formulations

How often did these few sentences simply state that something didn’t work? Personally, I’d love to tell ARD, “OK, we get it, something didn’t work.” But how about reporting a bit more on the lessons learned by, for example, the controversial figure Elon Musk, the co-owner of SpaceX? What did he learn from these experiences? Which factors caused the failure? How can he improve next time? What information does this provide so that if another crazy person also wants to fly into space, they don’t make the same mistakes?

And that’s what I mean by negative news around us. I think we need to be a little more careful that this negativity doesn’t get out of hand. For example, if I think about my own kids and they have something really huge planned, let’s say they want to do something on the level of what Elon Musk is doing, launching rockets into space, which is typically only done by governments with the necessary capital. And here’s a private individual doing something that’s truly crazy and takes real courage to even try.

What message resonates with society?

I simply don’t think it’s right to talk about it so negatively, and it’s not just about how you talk about it, but also what message you’re sending to the rest of society. Someone tried something, it didn’t work, and now comes the finger-pointing, and now it’s all bad, unsuccessful, ruined, broken, and so on and so forth. How about talking more about the fact that someone tried something, it didn’t work, but those are the lessons learned from it?

When I think about the younger generations who are coming up now, who also have their own goals, visions, and so on, I don’t believe that such news necessarily fosters a society that bravely tries new things. And that’s what I see with negative communication, which is so subtly conveyed to us. I mean, you read the news, you hear the news everywhere, and unfortunately, the vast majority of it is very negative. And then someone tries to do something completely different, and it’s finally not about war and so on, but about something where someone is trying to advance innovation in some way, and that’s talked about so negatively.

Shame culture and the courage to try something

I don’t think we should act that way as a society. I think we should be radiating positive vibes, not negative ones. And I’m actually thinking about my kids, and other kids too, this whole shame thing, this culture of shame. I’m originally from Iran, I know this culture of shame. It’s practically instilled in me from birth. Very early on, I was always told things like, “What will others think if something doesn’t work out?” or “It’s not nice if you do it,” or “What if it doesn’t work out?” and so on.

I think it’s absolutely wrong to simply pass this sense of shame on from generation to generation. And to be honest, reading the news here on tagesschau.de made me a little sad. You can read it all there too; it’s from March 14th, and it’s amazing how much negativity was spread in just a few sentences. So, practically nothing. I think we need to be a little more mindful of what we let affect us and try to see things a bit more objectively.

Continued

And even when we talk to other people about it, I tend to say, “Wow, that’s amazing. Here’s someone, like I said before, trying something that’s usually only attempted by governments, huge nations. He’s doing it as a private individual with his company. Honestly, that commands my respect.” Instead of saying, “He tried it and it was all bad,” and so on and so forth, that’s the one thing I want to tell you: pay attention to how you consume information.

Sometimes information is packaged so negatively. It’s meant to be information, but it’s presented in such a negative way that it might make you more timid rather than build courage, confidence, and self-esteem, encouraging you to tackle new things. If I spent all day reading news like that, I honestly don’t think I’d ever do anything new in my life, because I’d constantly think that if I did something wrong, everyone would just criticize me.

Whom we listen to as advisors

That’s one thing I wanted to talk about today. The other is about giving advice. I’m in a position where people often approach me for advice. Giving advice requires care from me, just as it does in the podcast. I always try to make sure to say, “These are my experiences, the lessons I’ve learned from them.” But I don’t want to stand there wagging my finger and saying, “Hey, this is how it is, this is how you do it, this is how you have to do it, and there’s no other way.”

And that’s the only right way. I believe that a consultant should always have some form of experience, real-life experience in a certain area, where they can say, “This happened to me, and this is how I dealt with it.” I’ve talked about my startup failure, for example, quite a few times on the podcast; I learned a lot from that, which I’ve also shared in some of the podcast episodes. But he doesn’t just wag his finger at me, saying, “Yes, this is how it was,” but rather, “This is how I dealt with it.”

Personal experiences and a presentation

These are, I believe, my key takeaways, and I’d like to share them today, but everyone has to decide for themselves how they do it. And I was recently at a lecture, or rather, an event. The speaker, a middle-aged man, opened his presentation. He introduced himself by saying, “So that you’ll believe what I’m about to tell you, here’s some background information about me; it’s all well-founded. I’ve been employed at such-and-such a company for 17 years.”

I won’t mention the company in the podcast, but it’s a huge DAX-listed corporation. He’s been employed by this DAX-listed corporation for 17 years, and for, I think, the last 7 or 8 years, he’s said he also teaches entrepreneurship at a university. My first thought was, wow, if someone has spent almost their entire working life—I don’t know what they did before those 17 years—why would they be teaching entrepreneurship at a university?

That was my first thought, and I don’t mean that in a bad way at all. He might still have some expertise in various areas, perhaps even before the topic of entrepreneurship. But it just seemed a bit inauthentic to me. I also tried to find an example or a comparison. I thought of the sports analogy: if, for example, someone has never swum but teaches swimming at a university, I don’t find that very authentic either, to then listen to that person explain how one can and should actually swim.

Credibility and entrepreneurship

What bothered me a bit more, I think, was that he opened his presentation by saying, “So that you’ll believe what I’m telling you here,” I think that bothered me a bit more. And then he went on to say something like, “I would now accept him as an advisor for my career as an entrepreneur.” And that’s what I want to talk about in this second part. I think we all have to accept, regardless of what this colleague said in his presentation—there were of course some good things in there, and perhaps some not-so-good things as well—as advice within our own circles.

This is always a very important role for me. And I often have this discussion with my wife, where it’s about, for example, when I get advice. I ask certain people for advice because I have the impression that this person is at a point where I would like to be, or has had the experience I would like to have. This person has probably learned these things and can perhaps share them with me. I ask this person for advice.

Continued

I would be less inclined to approach people who, for example, have no experience in the area I’d like to get into. And I think that’s especially important these days, with social media and podcasts all around us, to consider who we should accept as an advisor and who we should perhaps be less inclined to accept. This also applies specifically to this podcast, and I really mean that. If you get the impression that Reza is talking nonsense for some reason, or that he’s discussing a topic he knows nothing about, then please let me know, Reza.

That was complete nonsense. Why are you talking about this or that area in the podcast? I really try to be careful about sharing my learnings. And not in a preachy way, saying, “This is how you do it,” but rather, “This is my experience.” I’ve been there and I’ve learned the hard way. I’d like to share that, but you have to decide for yourselves whether it’s valid for you or not. That’s what bothered me about the colleague on-site, what he was trying to explain about how a business model should be structured.

Why practical experience is important

He certainly said a lot of true things about customer problems, the need to solve them, and the customer’s willingness to pay for solutions. Yes, that’s all true, but I found it completely inauthentic that he was essentially discussing entrepreneurship without ever having actually been one himself. That’s what I want to emphasize today, these two points: Pay attention to how you perceive the communication around you. The example from the Tagesschau (German news program) illustrated this well, and I’m actually a big fan of the Tagesschau for reading the news and so on.

Pay attention to how you receive communication, to recognize when the overall tone is too negative, as this negativity might subconsciously influence you, perhaps making you less confident about what you want to write. That’s one thing. And the other thing is, I’m not sure if every self-help book should actually be giving advice. Therefore, you should be careful about exactly who you accept advice from. Great, that’s it for today’s podcast. Thank you so much for listening.

I have one last request. I’ve been asking you quite often lately, but I’d like to reiterate: if you rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts, it would mean a lot to me. Your response matters to me, whether you learned something, laughed or have information to share. I’m happy to receive any rating, comments, or emails to halloweitprojectmindset.de. This kind of interaction makes the podcast much more enjoyable for me, and the positive feedback from my listeners is incredibly rewarding.

Thanks for listening

Thank you so much for listening. And don’t forget, until then, my Z is everything.