26. Find your inner voice

Hi everyone and welcome to Project Mindset, the channel for all those who know for sure that with the right mindset, anything is possible in life. I recently recorded a podcast, and I was extremely unhappy with the outcome. So I thought, okay, I’ll just re-record it completely, speak it again from scratch, and see how it goes. I did another recording and was unhappy again. The same thing happened with the third recording, and then I started to doubt myself a bit. Hey, where have my speaking skills gone?

I actually still have about 25 podcast episodes to record, which I’d like to make a bit simpler. I wasn’t sure if it was really my speaking skills or the topic itself that was the problem. Anyway, I did some research on YouTube about how to speak well in podcasts, lectures, presentations, and so on. I found a YouTube video by someone I actually follow. It’s Patrick Bad-David, a really interesting guy. He talked a bit about the different types of speakers.

Learn about different speaker types

So, there are different types of speakers who speak in a mentor-like manner. There are the inspirational speakers who give inspiring speeches, the storytellers, and the very technical speakers. So there are different types of speakers, and I’ve tried to figure out how to categorize myself. Where do I fit in? At first, I thought maybe I’m a mentor type. Tony Robbins was mentioned as an example; he’s a mentor type. I don’t know if you’re familiar with him. But I’m not sure if I even have the qualifications to act as a real mentor.

That got me thinking, am I an inspiring speaker? Barack Obama was mentioned as an example, and I’m not so sure if what I say actually inspires anyone, or even if I want to. Another type of speaker mentioned was the storyteller. I found that really interesting. Steve Jobs was given as an example, someone who tries to spark people’s imaginations by saying things like, “Hey, we have a new device that lets you go online in your pocket,” and so on.

Classifying your own communication style

So, a bit of a storyteller with a narrative style, so to speak, as a speaker type. Then many other speaker types were mentioned, like a technical speaker, such as Elon Musk, or a philosophical speaker. I sometimes catch myself drifting in that direction as well. For example, it was mentioned that if someone asks you something, like, “Hey, why did you do it this way?”, you could respond with a question like, “Why do you think I did it this way?”

It’s a bit of a philosophical thing. I do it now and then. Mostly when I’m not really sure what I’m talking about. But I found it interesting, at least to see that there are different types of speakers. Even so, at the end of the day, I still wasn’t quite sure where I fit in. But the most important thing for me was to figure out what kind of speaker I am, because I think the more you know about yourself, the better and easier it is to communicate.

Share experiences and options

Especially with podcasts, communication is key. I’ve been reflecting and have actually been thinking about a few things. It’s not necessarily important to me to be perceived as a mentor, but rather as someone who shares the options they’ve considered in their life for certain problems, or even the options they ultimately chose. Hey, in a situation like what just happened to you, something similar happened to me. You can do A, B, C, or D. So, one of the three options will work well, and for me, for example, B worked quite well, while C didn’t work at all.

But I think it’s important to me not to say at the end of the day, “This is how it is, and there’s no other way. That’s exactly how it has to be done.” I believe a mentor has a wealth of experience, and based on that, they can really offer concrete suggestions. But that’s not where I see myself. Interestingly, I also said in the very first episode of Project Mindset that I started the podcast, among other things, to be a mentor for those who don’t have one. Actually, now that I’ve done some research on different speaker types, I’m not so sure if I’m really the mentor type.

Recognizing your own inner voice

So, I think I’m more of a person who wants to show options. That’s how I came up with today’s cover story, “Find Your Inner Voice.” I think it’s really important when you communicate to know what kind of person you are and how you should communicate because of who you are. If I’m someone who essentially shows options, then I don’t want to be an advisor, a mentor, or an inspirational speaker. That’s just who I am.

Don’t pretend when you speak

This makes it impossible for me to communicate transparently how I feel about a topic. And in this podcast episode, which I had to record a total of three times before I finally liked it on the fourth take, I actually tried to be someone else. I wanted to be more of a mentor and give real, concrete instructions. Like, “This is how it’s done, and not otherwise.” Normally, I try to say, “Hey, these are the three things you can do.”

Hopefully, or perhaps, one of these three things will help you. And that’s essentially my inner voice. I’ve also noticed that, depending on the situation, I naturally have different voices that I project outwards. So, at work, I’m someone else; I speak differently than in my private life, and I think that’s appropriate. At work, I naturally have to be the one who has solutions to a problem.

I think I’m a mix of charming, curious, and solution-oriented. At the end of the day, I obviously have to sell something, including myself. At work, I think it’s important to be able to sell yourself. In my personal life, I don’t really try to sell myself. As for me, I tend to show options. So, if a friend comes to me and says, “I have a problem, what can I do?” then I try to show them options. Hey, I was in a similar situation once, and in that situation, I used ABCD (Action, Action, Deduction, and Dissolution).

Communication with children and in private life

Perhaps that would be something for you too. Again, in raising my children, I’ve noticed that while I try to show them these options, sometimes I have to act a bit like a commander and say, “Hey, listen to me, you’re going to do it this way, because—I can give a reason, but you don’t have the option to go left or right; you have to go this way.” I don’t always do that, but I’ve noticed that in certain situations, to make something happen faster, or where I think, or where I’m absolutely sure, it’s the right thing to do, I sometimes end up bossing my little one around.

But as I said, with no ill intent, only because I want what’s best for him. And yet, I gave you these examples so you’d understand. I think there are simply different inner voices we all have, and you have to react differently in certain situations. Of course, I can’t treat my wife the way I treat her at work. And I have a pretty cool story about that. In terms of my job, I’m a project manager, I’d say, and I think I’m pretty good at it, or at least okay at managing projects.

What the wedding planning has shown

And you have to develop a certain, let’s say, communication style, how you communicate certain aspects or points of a project. And when we both got married five years ago, I tried to structure the wedding like a project. Basically, hey, these are the milestones we have to reach. This and that has to be done by such and such a date. Until at some point I realized, hey, I can’t just use my project manager voice in this very sensitive private setting; I need a different flow to how I communicate with people.

It was important, of course, that we planned everything the way we wanted it, but the communication had to be completely different than in a professional setting. Perhaps a funny little story, because it actually took me a while to realize, hey, this isn’t just my job here, but something very emotional, and people react emotionally to certain aspects. It’s not just baking a cake; there’s something emotional behind it. It’s baking a cake for the guests.

Speak authentically instead of playing a role

This is something completely different than just, let’s say, baking any old cake on a Sunday at some random, cheap place. Right, folks, like I said, today’s topic just popped into my head a bit spontaneously while I was recording one of my recent podcasts. I’m not going to tell you which one it was. Feel free to message me, and I’ll tell you which podcast episode I was struggling with, but it really helped me when I realized, you know, I have to be myself, I have to communicate things in my own way, and there’s no point in trying to present something here.

These are the three paths to happiness, and there’s no other way; I simply want to present options. The question one can ask now, of course, is how does one find their own voice? And I actually stumbled upon the answer in a YouTube video, when I became aware of what it means to have different voices or a single speaking voice, thanks to the podcaster Patrick vs. David. And a quote that might help one find their inner voice is, “When we get too caught up in the business of the world, we lose connection with one another and ourselves,” by Jack Kornfield.

Listening to yourself again in everyday life

And I think that describes it quite well. I mean, I think we’re so busy in everyday life, and it’s so noisy and loud with everything, that we don’t manage to take a step back and listen to ourselves. Where is my own voice, actually? Just to lean back a little, calm down, take a step back or shift into a lower gear and then listen to myself, hey, what do I actually want to communicate, and how?

This definitely makes communication easier, because you don’t have to concentrate or expend energy pretending to be someone else; you’re simply yourself and communicate transparently about what you think. So, guys, that was another very short episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Guys, I need your support. It would be great if you could leave a like when you tell your friends about the podcast so we can continue to grow.

That would make me extremely happy. I would be incredibly grateful, and I hope you were able to take something away from it. I also hope you’ll hear from us again soon, and until next time, and don’t forget, mindset is everything.