19. Zero Compromises

Hi everyone and welcome to Project Mindset, the channel for all those who know that with the right mindset, anything is possible in life.Today we’re talking about compromise, not just with other people, where compromises are typically made, but especially about compromises you want to make with yourself. When working with others, we’re all somewhat used to it. There’s always some kind of negotiation involved, there’s always some kind of compromise you make.

You look for the lowest common denominator. Sometimes the directions even align, but still, it’s often the case that you’re practically negotiating with everyone every day. But there’s one person I definitely won’t negotiate with. And that person is myself. The best way to explain why that is, and what I mean by it, is with a little example, a real-life story. I have a little sister who recently moved house. It felt like the biggest move of her life, and as always, as her big brother, I helped her with the move. And as always, I said, “Sure, I’ll take care of the heavy stuff, and you do the little things.”

When a firmly agreed-upon plan fails

The big, heavy ones, yeah, leave those for the big boys, for your big brother. And my commitment was firm. I’d already taken care of my van and reserved it. The day of the move arrived. At eight in the morning, I got a call from the rental company saying the van was no longer available. Somehow there had been a double booking, a mistake, and the woman said, “Yes, unfortunately, it’s already gone.” I just thought, “Great, I was supposed to be at my sister’s at ten,” so I immediately started searching online for vans anyway, and there really wasn’t anything available for last-minute bookings anywhere.

Calls to hardware stores brought another answer: you can only rent a van there if you buy something. Just a quick heads-up. I also tried searching online; there were a few car rental companies, and I was able to enter all my information. They said there were vans available, I entered everything—driver’s license number, ID number, payment—and then the process was canceled. It didn’t work; it didn’t go through.

Continue searching for a solution

I called them and they said, “Yes, vans, they’re all booked.” Eventually, after an hour, I actually saw an online service where I could still book a van. I entered everything, including payment details, paid, received a confirmation, and I was super happy—cool, I’d made it in time, and I still had an hour until I was supposed to be at my sister’s. Five minutes later, I got a call. A friendly woman on the phone said, “Hey, sorry, there was some kind of error in the online tool, and the van wasn’t even available.”

That’s a bit of a joke. Okay, I thanked her extremely politely because I thought, hey, if I’m so stressed,I’ll intentionally be even friendlier than usual. I thanked her extremely politely, then said, okay, that’s a shame, I’ll keep looking. The woman herself was also friendly, and I do believe in karma, so I thought, hey, make it extra friendly. Okay, I hung up, and a few minutes later I got another call while I was still trying to find other vans, and it was the exact same woman on the phone. She said, hey, because you were so friendly, I made some more calls myself, and we’ve now found a van. You can pick it up in 30 minutes.

A transporter with new difficulties

I was super excited, drove straight to the huge car rental parking lot, and there was exactly one van with its engine cover open, and they were even jump-starting it at that very moment. I thought, okay, that’ll definitely be mine, so I went over. They started the van, and then, yes, the battery was dead. It needed a jump start, and then, purely for formal reasons, they had to do a checkup before they could release it. It would take about an hour and a half.

I said, “Hey, I’d just like to be at my sister’s on time. I’m taking this at my own risk, I’ll even sign the paperwork and it’s all at my own risk. Just give me a jumper cable, and I’ll take care of the rest.” They agreed, I signed, and then I drove off, thinking, “Yes, all the stress was worth it. The move actually went really well. The whole day was over, and I was happy that everything had gone so smoothly.”

Why the moving story is important

Why am I telling you this? Simply because I want to say that the easiest thing to do, when the cancellation came and I’d already tried once or twice to hire another van, would have been to just call my sister and say, “Hey little sister, sorry, it didn’t work out. I tried, but it didn’t work. Let’s reschedule, please.” But giving up that easily, in my opinion, is unacceptable. Imagine, children don’t give up so easily when something doesn’t work out. A small child wants to learn to walk, so of course they fall down hundreds of times on the first day and keep trying.

Maintain your own willingness to try things out

This is a recurring theme; I actually think children and teenagers always like to try new things, even if they don’t succeed. But at some point, I got the impression that as an adult, you become a bit more comfortable, you don’t try as many new things anymore, and the things you do try, if you fail the first or second time, then you give up immediately. It was still okay during my studies; even if I failed an exam, I’d still take a second attempt. But I knew people there who didn’t even try a second or third time.

I think the older you get, the fewer people are breathing down your neck,watching and controlling you like your parents did, for example, to see if you’re actually following through on your plans. The older you get, the less likely you are to stick to the decisions you’ve made. I know that feeling myself; I sometimes try to argue with myself about whether or not to exercise today, or whether to eat something unhealthy even though I’ve resolved to avoid unhealthy food for two or three weeks.

Exceptions can become the norm.

There are many moments in life when we try to compromise with ourselves. “Today I won’t exercise, I’m not feeling well, so I’ll exercise a little more tomorrow”—another compromise. Or take today’s issue: “I don’t have to finish the project work; I’ll do it tomorrow, and then I’ll work longer tomorrow.” And this pattern continues; you simply become complacent, you stop making an effort. And I believe that’s precisely where the mistake lies.

Once you start making compromises with yourself, it permeates your entire life. Not just in sports, not just with the things that are important to you, your hobbies, your health, and so on. It simply permeates everything. Why? Because your mindset changes. You simply become more willing to compromise with yourself. Your mindset, every single cell in your body, then says, “Hey, if it doesn’t work the first time, we’ll just postpone it, no problem.” And I believe that’s precisely what shouldn’t happen, which is why today’s title is “Zero Compromises.”

In action movies, they say you don’t negotiate with terrorists. And I don’t negotiate with that fussy little voice inside me, with the fussy little terrorists inside me. I simply don’t negotiate. If I’ve decided to rent the van today and I’ve put in every effort, wherever it’s logical and productive, and it doesn’t work out, that’s fine, but I put in every effort to get where I wanted to go.

Compromises and personal commitment

Okay everyone, I hope I’ve made my point clear: you can and should always compromise with everyone around you, because I believe that’s the only way to live well together. But with yourself, well, you should really avoid compromises there. That’s why Zero Compromises. And I’d be happy if you have any feedback on where you see certain areas where compromises should be made. If so, feel free to write to me at helloatprojectmindset.de.

As you know, I always enjoy discussing mindset topics with you all. I’d really appreciate your feedback. Okay everyone, I hope you enjoyed the episode and I’ll talk again next week at the latest. Don’t forget, mindset is everything.