Happiness through doing: an archived Project Mindset post, originally published in 2024. Dates and roles reflect the original publication.
113. Happiness through doing
Happiness comes through doing, rather than merely having or wishing to be something. In the first Project Mindset episode of 2024, Reza Mehman takes Erich Fromm’s To Have or to Be? as a starting point and adds active doing to his own interpretation. Being a good father, achieving something meaningful or feeling happier requires concrete actions. He also shares a resolution to protect his attention from distractions. The actions may be simple to understand while still being hard to sustain.
Summary
In one sentence: Fulfilment comes from active engagement in everyday life, rather than possessions or wishful thinking alone.
Short summary: Reza adds “doing” to his reading of Fromm’s distinction between having and being. Wanting to be a good father requires time, patience, care and encouragement. The idea is simple; carrying it out takes discipline and persistence.
Detailed summary: Reza opens 2024 by resolving to protect his mind from social media and other distractions. He revisits Fromm’s critique of materialism and emphasis on conscious living. He agrees with the central idea but emphasises active doing. Fatherhood illustrates why wanting to be something is insufficient by itself. The route from intention to being involves action.
Context and questions
Project Mindset host Reza shares a practical personal reflection prompted by Fromm’s book. New Year’s resolutions often remain abstract; this episode focuses on implementation. Why is wanting to be something not enough? How can we protect our attention? And why can simple actions still be difficult?
Contents
Introduction · Summary · Context · Themes · Takeaways · Questions · Quotes · Complete transcript · Keywords · Names and terms · Shareable passage
Themes
Having and being
Fromm’s contrast between material orientation and conscious experience prompts Reza’s reflection on satisfaction. Keywords: Erich Fromm, To Have or to Be?, materialism, conscious living.
Doing
Action bridges intention and the person we want to become. Keywords: action, implementation, getting started.
Habits and attention
Reza’s 2024 intentions include reducing distractions and negative input. Keywords: resolutions, digital distraction, focus.
Happiness through action
Fatherhood and assembling furniture illustrate the satisfaction of personal effort. Keywords: happiness, pride, agency.
Simple but difficult
The challenge often lies in consistently doing the basics rather than understanding a complex concept. Keywords: discipline, basics, persistence.
Key takeaways
- The pleasure of a new purchase may fade quickly.
- Reza adds an emphasis on doing to his interpretation of Fromm.
- Becoming a good father, partner or person requires relevant actions.
- “It’s not complicated, but it’s hard to do.”
- Even frustrating tasks can produce pride once completed.
- Fewer messages, emails and social-media interruptions can protect attention.
- Reviewing the day can encourage awareness of overlooked details.
- Reza’s imagined book would be called “Having, Being or Doing”.
- The route from wanting to being runs through doing.
Frequently asked questions
How do having, being and doing differ?
Having concerns possessions, being concerns the person or state we aspire to, and doing concerns the actions required to get there.
Why might possessions not bring lasting happiness?
Reza says the initial pleasure of a purchase fades quickly for him. Action and personal development offer a different kind of satisfaction.
What does “not complicated, but hard to do” mean?
A goal can be easy to understand while consistent daily implementation remains demanding. Reza uses exercise and eating well as an illustration.
How does Reza aim to protect his attention?
By reducing frequent WhatsApp, email and social-media checks and consuming less negative input, with more focus on the present.
Which book prompted the episode?
Erich Fromm’s To Have or to Be?, recommended by a friend. Reza agrees with its broad direction while highlighting doing.
Why the furniture example?
Assembling furniture annoys him, but finishing it produces pride and satisfaction.
What tools does he suggest for a new year?
Review the day consciously and identify the concrete actions behind each desired goal.
Highlight quotes
“For 2024, I want not only to live more consciously but to protect my mind and mindset more.”
“Buying something new might satisfy me for ten seconds or a minute. Afterwards, having it no longer feels special.”
“If I wrote a book, I would call it Having, Being or Doing, and focus far more on doing.”
“It’s not complicated, but it’s hard to do.”
“I cannot simply say I want to be a good father. I have to carry out the actions that requires.”
“If you imagine something you want to be, the way there is through doing.”
“Doing takes effort, but it is not complicated. Usually we only have to do the basics.” — Reza Mehman
The complete episode transcript
Hi everyone, and welcome to Project Mindset, the channel for those who know that with the right mindset, anything is possible. This is the first episode of 2024. I hope the year has started well for you and that you had a lovely Christmas. I used that time partly to think about my intentions for 2024. Before today’s main subject, I want to share one: not only living more consciously, but protecting my mind and mindset more.
Living more consciously means noticing the encounters, ideas, conversations and experiences of the day. I have shared tools in earlier episodes. Before going to sleep, for example, try reviewing the entire day in detail. Who did I speak to?
Which tasks did I finish? What happened? What ideas and conversations did I have? Sometimes I remember tiny details, such as seeing someone wearing an unusual jacket during a walk. In the evening, that detail comes back. It is fascinating what the mind stores—or does not store.
Protecting attention from distraction
Protecting my mind is particularly important to me this year. I want to pay more attention to avoiding the constant little distractions that, if they do not damage it, at least keep intruding. I do not think being continually distracted by WhatsApp messages, emails or a quick social-media check is good for us.
Suddenly you have looked at three or four other people’s LinkedIn posts. I want less of that input pouring into my mind. This includes checking fewer negative messages and absorbing fewer negative vibes. I hope it will give me more focus and attention for the here and now. At the end of the year, I will tell you whether it worked. I am confident it will.
Today’s main subject is having or being. I talked about it in episode 90. A good friend recommended Erich Fromm’s book To Have or to Be? Let me briefly explain its subject as the basis for this episode. I admit I did not write the summary myself. If you are reluctant to write, these days you use ChatGPT.
Erich Fromm’s To Have or to Be?
I asked it for a conversational summary in no more than five sentences. Its answer was that Fromm discusses two ways of living: continually striving for possessions—having—and consciously experiencing life—being. He criticises society’s excessive focus on material things and its consequences. He advocates valuing relationships and personal growth to live a fulfilled life in the present.
That was excellent from ChatGPT. I could hardly have made it shorter or clearer without much more effort. It is remarkable how much work it saves, but that is not today’s topic. I agree with Fromm’s central point. After reading the book, I thought about what I want to have and whether it satisfies me. Honestly, buying something new probably satisfies me for ten seconds, a minute or whatever.
Why possessions alone do not fulfil
Afterwards, having it no longer feels special. Wanting possessions is human, but we should recognise that this alone does not make us happy. I agree with Fromm about being. I want to be a good father, for example, or successful in a particular area. Doing the things that lead towards that state can make us happy.
That is what I want to discuss: being. Instead of saying I want to have two children, I can say I want to be a good father. But here is the point I would have raised with Fromm if he had not died years ago: being is all very well, but being a good father to two children comes with doing.
I must perform the actions needed to be a good father. I cannot simply say I want to be one. In this example, that means giving time, love and attention, being patient, encouraging and challenging, playing, and everything else involved. Getting up at night when a child is ill and caring for them are part of it.
From wanting to be to concrete action
Many things belong to it, and they all involve doing. If I wrote a book, I would call it “Having, Being or Doing” and focus far more on doing. That might be a useful thought for 2024: resolving to do more. Doing takes effort. It is easy to think about what I want to be, but getting there requires action.
What is interesting is that doing is demanding but not complicated. Usually we just need the basics. I keep reminding myself of the phrase: “It’s not complicated, but it’s hard to do.” If I want to be lean and athletic, the underlying idea is simple: exercise, eat well and so on.
The idea is simple, but doing it is difficult. I used another example in an earlier episode about happiness. One of the most irritating things I occasionally have to do is go to IKEA, buy cupboards and assemble them at home. I find it incredibly annoying. But after assembling them, I develop a feeling of pride and happiness.
Enjoying what we make ourselves
When my parents visit, I say, “Look, I built that yesterday.” It feels good; you can show off a little. I think IKEA understands that doing something yourself can make you happy and encourage you to return.
For the first episode of 2024, I wanted to offer this little mindset tool: if you imagine something you want to be, the route there is through doing. I hope you enjoyed the episode. If so, leave a like, comment and subscribe so Project Mindset can continue growing. Thank you for listening. Speak soon, and remember: mindset is everything.
The source transcript was generated automatically with Whisper AI and may contain occasional errors.
Keywords
Happiness, doing rather than having, Erich Fromm, To Have or to Be?, mindset 2024, happiness through action, Project Mindset, Reza Mehman, taking action, agency, New Year’s resolutions, personal growth, focus, reducing distractions, conscious living.
Names and terms
Reza Mehman, Project Mindset, Erich Fromm, To Have or to Be?, ChatGPT, IKEA, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, social media, happiness, mindset, agency, resolutions 2024.
A passage to share
Fromm’s distinction between having and being prompted Reza to emphasise doing. Being a good father involves time, patience, encouragement and care. The necessary actions may be simple to understand yet difficult to sustain. Everyday action brings a form of happiness that possessions and wishes alone cannot provide.
More in the Project Mindset archive (German) and the Reza Mehman Podcast.
